The manic, surface part-of-me

There is some stuff that makes me happy in my daily life, and not just the obvious stuff, like Erin or Nick, or any of our too-numerous pets.

What stuff, you ask? Well, for one, there are a few webcomics that are literal hi-lites during my day. Dinosaur Comics, XKCD, Questionable Content, and A Softer World are a few. Do yourselves a favor and spend a little time going through their archives... I'll be surprised if you don't find them entertaining. These people write with such wit that it makes me envious. If I could hang out for a day or two with anyone, these writers would top my list, along with Trey Parker and Mat Stone. How they can sustain such cleverness is beyond me, but it's uplifting.

Other things lately include this picture

and the story attached to it. I mean, how cool is that?

What else?

Well, aside from Battlestar Galactica, The Office, Reaper, and My Name is Earl all coming back with new seasons here in the next few weeks, there's the fact that after 8 years, I am finally switching campuses and moving to teach 5th grade at our Middle School next year. While it isn't exactly what I wanted, I am ripe for a change, and I'll have opportunities to put some of the leadership practices I am studying in my doctoral program to use.

Another cool thing lately was our climbing trip to Red Rocks last week. Nick, while I love him, has terrible couch-potato tendencies, and a general lack of enthusiasm typical of an 8th grader, so I was delighted with how excited he was to climb, and even more so with his efforts. The climb was a frictiony 5.8 , and he was totally determined to climb well, he took instruction, and he was way more persistent in his efforts than I could have imagined. We'll be going again on Thursday where we will climb something a little more traditional, and I'll post more pics. In the mean time, here are a few of from Red Rocks...

And finally, I got a cowboy hat. Yes, a cowboy hat.... and I LIKE it.

The inner turmoil part-of-me

My brain has been all over lately, and hence, no posts. I mentioned in my last post that I am suffering from a possible mid-life crisis, and that is still true. But rather than dwell on my own mortality and the what-ifs of squandered youth, I am trying to focus on how to make life more exciting and beautiful and substantive. It isn't easy, but I am hoping that that will change once I can just accept the fact that I am no longer a kid.
Anyway, I've always been the type of person who walks the edge between introvert and extrovert. When B and I were first rooming together 17 years ago, I remember taking a personality test in which I scored as an INTP. About a year later, I took the same test and scored as an ENTP. I seem to go through phases in which I bounce between really liking the world, people, and social interaction and really being disapointed in the world and people, preferring instead to duck my head and pretend they don't exist. I just took the test again, and am currently an INTP. Take the test yourselves and post your results...
Anyway, I think that I have become increasingly isolated these last few years, and though I'd like to blame it on the culture here in Vegas, or on getting older, I am not entirely convinced those two things are solely to blame. Though, to be fair to myself, I am not the only one who feels this way. And being back to Texas for Christmas and seeing old friends reminded me that I am not incapable of feeling comfortable and connected to people other than Erin.
I often get caught up in my head in trying to determine if my lacking connectedness is because of my age, and wondering if I'd be able to be friends with any of you if we didn't have history. I know it's a pointless mental exercise, but sometimes I can't help it. I AM grateful to have you all as friends, it's just that I wonder at my inability to find others like you in the 8 years we've lived here. Is it really THEM (meaning the 2 million or so people in the Las Vegas Valley) or is it me?
It's not like Erin and I don't socialize; we do, albeit infrequently. It's just that it always seems so shallow. Or, we'll meet people we really seem to connect to, only to have the relationships evaporate. It's something that I can't figure out, and is definitely a part of the larger package of mid-life issues I'm dealing with.
Bleh. I feel like I'm getting all whiney now, and that's not what I wanted to do. I'd intended to just briefly mention my whole nut-job obsessive thought-processes and then move on to more interesting things, but since I've used up so much space already, I'll save the various fluffy bits for my next post, which will be immediately after (or above) this one.

Some realizations, in no particular order.

I feel wiser now, having turned another year on the calendar. Here are some of the things I have come to realize lately, in no particular order:

1. The years of 1992-1996 were THE BEST for independent films, when they truly were independent, and not mainstream-fashionable, as they later became. This group of films includes, but is not limited to, The Last Supper, Welcome to the Dollhouse, and a movie that featured a trio who killed a guy then had to dump the body; they drew straws to see who had to hammer out the corpse's teeth, and the loser eventually moved into the attic where he went kind of nuts, drilling holes in the ceiling to view what was going on in the apartment below. I can't remember the name, but Brannon will help me out by remembering for me: we saw it in Austin and it was awesome!
Anyway, this morning as I was grading a Science Test, I realized that the actor who plays geeky professor-guy on this season of lost is the same guy who played the lead in Spanking the Monkey (which definitely goes on the list). I haven't checked yet to make sure, but I'm 99.9% positive it is him. The movie had an awesome soundtrack, particularly the song that played as the credits rolled, and after more than a decade, I finally found it.

2. No limit Texas Hold 'Em, which holds the top place (in a tie with fly fishing) as chief among my obsessions, might actually not be the greatest poker game ever. That title may ver well belong to the game of Pot Limit Triple Daw Lowball, Deuce to Seven. Don't ask why... there's not enough spaceon my blog if you get me started... just trust me on this!

3. I'm actually filling up (slowly) with relevant reflections and witty comentary about things these days, but I'm not yet up to the task of presenting them to the world; I think I am suffering a bit of a mid-life crisis, and, as usual, I prefer to suffer alone until I get things figured out; that's just the way I am. I AM figuring things out, at least a little, and when I'm ready, I'll actually post something I feel is important or worth-while.

4. You should bug Erin to post more; she's easier to push around.

passing the buck

I haven't blogged much lately, so for those few of you who check here hoping for something, I'm posting my friend Michael's blog... He's a funny motherf*cker.

http://michaelrossmayer.blogspot.com/

We miss you Popo.