G's hair

I have a great class this year. I like them a lot, and I am going to miss them when they are gone. One girl in particular sticks out at the moment. We'll call her G. Now G's mom is hot, and G herself is one of the most beautiful kids I've ever seen. It's easy to see that the apple didn't fall far from the tree. I am not sure what ethnicity they are, but G is brown skinned and has the greatest hair you ever saw. It's just thick and wild and wavy. Tons of hair. The kind of hair that is just going to kill the cool boys in a few years, and will probably freak out the rest. and she's not just a beautiful kid, she's adventurous too.

So every year the kids in my class to varying degrees get crushes on or idolize me. It's a natural thing in kids this age, especially since I am, for most of them, the 1st real adult male presence in their lives outside of thier fathers. Some, like G, have fathers that either disappeared or are around but disengaged. For these kids, I am something of a freakshow. One of my boys told me the other day that he could never imagine his dad getting out to go skiing, or crawling around on the floor playing with a bunny. A girl in my class told me that her mom couldn't understand why I was teaching comic books in reading, and simply didn't believe that I read them on my own. I amaze my kids daily, which is nice and is one of the perks of the job.

So anyway, G is a talker. Not an uppity one, but just one who never stops. She giggles and giggles w/ her best friend, and usually, it is me they giggle at. I amuse her, I guess. And she amuses me too. For example, she's pretty much a girly-girl. I don't usually care for girly-girls all that much, but G is different; she surprises me alot. Like the other day, I was eating goat-cheese during snack. Another of my girls, C, says, just for the sake of hearing her own voice, "I like cheese!" about 20 times a day. So I offered her some. Of course, she declined. But G asked what it was, and when I told her, her eyes got as big as saucers. Then she tried some. I mean really tried it. Not like most kids who will "try" it by putting a dab on their tongue and then spitting all over the place, having decided ahead of time that it would be gross. G actually gave it a real honest go... and she liked it. Itwas an impressive act for a 10 yr. old girl who at first glance definitely doesn't appear to be one who would willingly step outside of the mold.

Her adventurousness applies to music as well. Actually, lots of my kids over the years have liked my music. This year, I've been pretty much stuck on the Decemberists and Death Cab For Cutie, so we listen to them alot. But I've also been listening to Amadou and Miriam, a wonderful duet from Mali, as well as some other quite unconventional things. Usually, I listen to music while they AR read and I correct papers. I've always suspected that they don't really listen purposefully, and in most cases, they don't. However, it turns out that this year that isn't the case. Many of them actually really like several songs on my regular playlists, so I have had to take some time to tell them they lyrics, and the stories behind the songs or the bands. For example, The Mariner's Revenge is an awesome epic tale by the decemberists, and the kids just ate up the story. Eli the Barrowboy is another favorite, as is Politic amagni. Heavy topics for 10 yr. olds, but they are an unusually hip bunch. Which brings me back to G. Most years a few kids will kind of copy me, taking up the things I like and then forgetting them when I am no longer a presence in their lives. However, I really think I will have a longer lasting impression on G. Yesterday, when I was loading her into the car at the end of the day, her mom tells me that G just HAS to try everything I like; She's downloading songs i like, she's reading all the books on my bookshelf, she is even trying foods I've mentioned I like. Then mom says, boy it sure is obvious G is missing a father figure, and how would I like to take her for a weekend? All of this was joking and friendly, of course (it sounds a little less so in print) but I think she embarrassed G a little, though not on purpose. However, I realized her mom was right; I AM very much G's father figure, at least at the moment. It made me aware again of just how much impact I have on these kids beyond just the teaching of academics, and reminded me to remember how important it is to treat them with both love and respect.

If there's one thing I know from my years of teaching it's that most kids get little true respect from the adults in their lives; often their interests, questions, problems and passions are minimized, or worse, belittled. As adults we all are guilty to some degree of such terrible mistakes. But I for one make every effort not to fall into that grown-up trap. So anyway, I find out that G's mom's boyfriend has been an on-and-off thing for the last several years. Currently they are apparently quite off, and I just hate to think about what that is doing to G's sense of self esteem, especially as a girl. Some boy had made a comment the week before about G's mom being fat (she isn't) and about how her mom's hair was "crazy." So G came in to class the other day with her hair ironed. It didn't look bad, but it just wasn't her. How am I supposed to deal with that? Ignore it? Well, what I did was ask her if she ironed it, and when she said yes, I told her it looked good. But then I told her that one of the things I always admired about her was her thick rich hair, and that it looked great that way too. I'd hate to think she's ironing her hair because of some dipstick offhand comment by a boy who has the hots for her and her mom.

One of the things I don't like about teaching is that I get to see these kids a few years after they leave me, and many of the girls have gone mostly dull and shallow and material in their pursuit of boys and belonging. If you'd asked me at the beginning of the year, before I'd gotten to know her, if I thought G would wind up one of them, I would have probably said yes. However, I would have been wrong.