Punched in the Face

Ok, so I don't post that much, but I figured that this story may entertain you that know me.
Erin and I went to Laughlin NV for a weekend of massages and relaxation. I have been absolutely kicking ass playing cards lately (up about 5300 playing 1-2 over the last 6 weeks) and we needed a break from work, home projects, etc. So in Laughlin, it's about midnight, and I am playing in a shorthanded 1-2 n/l game w/ a 150 max buy in. For some reason this is the highest they do there at 1-2. I had pretty good control of the table when this drunk guy who thought himself god's gift to poker comes up to the table and immediately starts bragging about how he's gonna bust us all, etc. I can see he's one of those ultra-agressive types who doesn't know when to slow down, so I begin setting an elaborate trap; I weak-raise to 7 w/ JJ in mid position and get headsup w/ the bigblind who I know is a weakish player. He reraised me w/ a min raise (to 12 total), so I figure him for AQ, or maybe A10. the flop comes K high, and I know I am good, but also know the BB will do a minimum continuation bet of around 15, which is exactly what he does. So what I am doing is I am going to call here, weak call the turn and check behind or weak-call the river, provided the BB doesn't hit, which I will know b/c he won't bet big unless he does. I am doing this to make drunk-guy (DG from her on) think I am a weak passive player. So the turn is a blank, BB checks, and I check. The river is a queen, BB bets 20 and I call; I KNOW he hit a queen, but I want to showcase my weak play the DG, which I do, acting all frustrated. DG immediately starts going on about how I can't play n/l, and I am too passive, etc. So far so good.
OK, next key hand comes w/ me getting AJ on the button; I called DG's 25 preflop raise, and so did the same weak BB. flop comes A7Q, DG bets 30, I raise to 60. BB thinks a minute and raises allin, about 130. DG folds, I think a minute, and figure BB for a weak A. I call, and DG starts saying "that is a horrible call!" to which I reply, "the BB has a weak A; I've got AJ, and I guarantee it is the best hand." Next, BB turns his hand up, and DG still goes on about my "bad call" and I couldn't really have a read on the BB. The turn brings an 8, and the BB winds up sucking out. Not a big deal, actually to my benefit as far as setting DG up; he is convinced my call was bad somehow.
Next key hand, and we're down to 3 handed. DG has tun off all but me and the BB with his cursing, insults, etc. He is berating me for folding too many hands, and he has about 420, about 170 more than me. He wants to up the limit to 3-5, and I agree, if he'll let me buy in to get even w/ him in chips. He says no, but then agrees to let me get 100 more. I now have 260. He raises to 30 preflop from the big blind after I called 5 and the smallblind folded. I call w/ 89 spades. The flop comeas all spades, he checks, and I bet 45, and he checkraises me allin, and I instantly call; he's got 10-5, no spades, no nothing. I double to 510. Then a new player joins us. 1st hand the new player is in, DG raises from sb to 25, I call, and new guy does too. (the other player folded.) Flop comes Q high, DG checks, I check, and new guy bets 60. DG goes allin, I fold, newguy calls, showing Q8suited. DG turns over JJ, and starts insulting the newguy about calling a raise preflop w/ Q8 (not a bad play in position 3 handed, but DG is too drunk and/or stupid to see this) DG hits a J (2 outter) on the turn and just goes off on the newguy, relentlessly, about how "fucking stupid" he was to call preflop, etc. DG is standing over the table now, yelling everything he's saying, and needling the newguy to play him headsup. I agree to sit out and watch, since DG wanted to play newguy for 500 headsup, and newguy agreed. DG insists he will take all the money, etc. He's cussing and yelling at the newguy for about 10 minutes as they play (a total of about 7 hands) and in between he's insulting me too. Since I wasn't playing DG anymore, I stopped being so polite. I pointed out as he was knocking the newguy (who was f'ing HUGE, btw) that all 3 big pots DG won, he won after putting his money in bad. And not just bad, but REAL bad, as in 4-outs-or-less bad. He then challenged me to play headsup the following night at a casino across the street, the Riverside, for 1000, w/ 5-10 blinds. I told him I would be glad to, and then he went back to playing and insulting the newguy.
So OK, a little time passes and DG looks over at me and says 'you can't play fucking poker... I don't give a fuck..." to which I reply, "That you don't give a fuck is plainly obvious." He looks at me funny, like I was speaking Greek or something. He's standing there (he'd been playing the last several rounds standing) and he leans over me and says real quiet "... fuck you." I say, also quietly, "get away from me." He is standing and I am sitting, and he feints a swing at me and I then stand up and say "You'd better get the fuck away from me." then he hits me square in the mouth.
I was a little shocked; I hadn't been punched in the mouth since highschool. Then he hits me again, this time in the side of the head. He was drunk, so they weren't great punches, but they hurt enough that after the second one he swings again, I duck, and I give him an elbow to the jaw which drops him to the floor. Then the newguy, the big dude, is past me and on top of DG, and he just starts wailing the shit out of him.
Meanwhile there is no security yet, and I am shouting at the pokerroom manager "Get some fucking security here, now!" I look down, and I see DG beneath this dude, and I have to admit, my first instinct really was to grab the chair I was sitting on and just smash DG's face to a pulp. But then, instead, I get down next to newguy, and I start pulling him off DG. DG's face was all bloody, and his finger was all cut because he tried a lip-rip on the newguy and the newguy bit the fuck out of him, in addition to otherwise beating him down. The big dude punches DG one more time, and I tell him "if you don't stop, both you guys are going to jail; get up now and you're clean." He listened I guess, because he got up and left. Meanwhile, security finall shows up, but they aren't doing anything. DG gets up and starts talking about how I attacked him, until the dealer says, no, look at the tape. They ask if I want to press charges, and I said no. For one, it would be a hassle for me, and 2, I really wanted to play this guy for 1000 the next night. DG is now up, gathering his chips, cussing the dealer and the security guards, talking about how he was attacked because he was such a great player it sent me into a jealous rage. I'm just standing there, waiting for DG to clear his money off the table so I can get mine, and then he starts in on the dealer again, and that was when I changed my mind. I told security I did want to press charges, and fuck this asshole who had the chance to walk away clean if he'd only kept his mouth shut. Then DG's all like "no, dude... come on.... don't do this... " But I just say "you were given every chance not to go to jail, but you blew it. Winning your 1000 tomorrow isn't worth as much as seeing your pathetic ass taken to jail tonight." Then they hauled him away.
In the end, I didn't press charges. When the real police finally showed up, they took a statement from me, and I said I just wanted the guy locked up. They said 2 things could happen; I could file assault charges, which meant court, etc. Or I could let the casino file disorderly conduct charges, which would be less severe but would still land him in jail that evening. I opted not to press, secretly hoping he'd show up the next evening for our match; but he never did.