Snowing the Fat Man

What a novel idea

2009-11-23T21:11:00.000-08:00

So Erin and I are going to Phoenix to visit my mom for Christmas, and it's going to cost alot to get there. Therefore, we have decided not to buy presents for each other, and instead we made a deal to each write a novel by Christmas day. November is actually National Novel Writing Month, but we decided a late start was better than no start.

So today I began outlining. I am having my students write a historical fiction piece as a culmination of our reading and writing instruction this year, so I figured that I would begin with the same genre. I am basically going to follow the model I will be teaching them later this year, only in greater depth. They will write short stories but mine will be longer.

So here's the gist so far: The story surrounds the Watermelon War in Panama City, 1856. This real event will be used to frame the narrative.

Angel de Soto is the son of a recently freed slave in Colon, Panama. He and his father operate Colon's first non-railroad owned printing press. They are somewhat at odds w/ the Railroad administrator due to being competitors w/ the company paper. Angel believes that at the other end of the line, blacks are respected and treated as equals. Unhappy with his father's passivity concerning the family business and their racist treatment, Angel hops the train to go to Panama City to see for himself how things are on the other side.

He gets caught up in the riot that occurs, and comes to realize that racism is not always where you expect to find it, nor is charity.

Anyway, I fully expect to have it done by Christmas. That being said, I am not too concerned with it being good. I just want to do it.

Not much else to say. Here are a few more pics:

Leaf-peeping in the neighborhood near the river

2009-10-18T22:55:00.001-07:00

Erin, Nick and I went for a walk today, and this is what we saw.

Fall in Idaho

2009-10-05T19:17:00.000-07:00

Not much to say lately... just some more pictures from the last month or so.

More Camera Fun

2009-09-05T19:59:00.000-07:00

Erin, Nick and I went out for burgers and soft-serve at the Fanci-Freeze this evening. It was a beautiful night, so on the way home we stopped off and walked along the greenbelt next to the river to see if there was anything interesting to photograph. Here a few of the pics we took, along with some others from this week. I'm actually planning on reading the directions that came with the camera tonight, so hopefully the quality will improve. One of the nice things about this camera is that it catches details you don't notice when taking the picture. For example, the eyes on the spider pic are pretty cool I think.

My town can beat up your town

2009-09-01T20:33:00.000-07:00

OK, maybe not. Actually, everyone here is so damned nice I doubt it would ever come to physical blows.

In any case, if I had it to do over again, I'd have moved here to Boise straight from Lubbock and by-passed the 9 years in Vegas (Boise was on the table before we even left Texas).

I really wish all of my friends in Texas would come here for a visit, because it so much like Austin here that it's uncanny. A huge music scene, a committed (and practical)activist community, generally liberal political bent, etc. Plus, within an hour's drive there are so many wild places to explore. AND, Boise has the benefit of NOT being in Texas. Maybe after Texas Secedes, you can come for a visit and decide to move here.

I haven't posted in awhile because there have been so many little things that have made me happy and that I've wanted to brag on that I feared I'd get on everyone's nerves. So instead of focusing on that stuff, I am going to focus on the new camera we recently bought. Erin and I have wanted a digital SLR for years now, and we finally got one. I don't know much yet about good photography, but the camera makes up for my deficiencies, and I am going to learn, either through as community group or a class. Anyway, here are a few photos I took today; the first batch from our brand-new Canon! :)

And this last one was taken by Nick. Pretty good for the first time out, I'd say!

You've been... Christmas'd

2009-08-19T18:03:00.001-07:00

I was cleaning up links in my browser when I came across this site, INSTRUCTABLES, which I used for science club ideas a few years ago. As I was browsing all the neat projects, I came across the coolest gun ever:

I do believe I will be building one of these with my class this year.

Mah-wedge, Sweet Mah-wedge

2009-08-04T16:36:00.000-07:00

So E and I have been married eight years today.

DAAAANG!

It's good to be me.

In other news this week...

- Saw excellent film called "Moon" at Flicks, the Indie theater downtown (think Alamo theater, but a little smaller)

- Took old computers and electronics to be recycled, then hit the Fly Shop to buy some grasshopper patterns

- Went to Saturday market, and it was an actual market w/ lots of locally produced veggies, art and crafts. Bought a neat spoon. And some dill cheese curds

- Ate BBQ and did some fishing on Grimes Creek and Mores creek.
Score: Tyson 2, fish 0

- Went to UU church on Sunday: sermon was on how "Battlestar Galactica" relates to improving our own lives

- Visited DK Nature Center downtown: full of trout and birds, and is free

- Finally found an excellent pizza joint w/ thin crispy-crust pizzas at "Protos", again downtown

- More milkshakes from Boise Fry Company

- Benefits orientation w/ school district

That's about it.

I wonder what FOX news has to say about it

2009-07-20T21:58:00.000-07:00

Wow...

We just got our cable hooked up, and I stumbled across the most mind blowing movie. Really unbelievable.

Prom Night in Mississippi.

It's a documentary. No BS, real life. Last year.

It's about the town of Charleston, Mississippi, which finally desegregated prom last year.

Just watch it if you can. And check out the link.

Why my parents should get out there and vote

2009-07-07T01:25:00.000-07:00

Ah, Arizona... only you can make Nevada look smart.

"If you took all the fools out of the legislature, it wouldn't be a representative body."
--Molly Ivins

pretty much sums things up.

Something reassuring for my mom

2009-06-14T18:15:00.000-07:00

OK, this is for you mom. I know you're worried about the trip over the dam, but you can't tell how high it is at all. To see for yourself, when you are done reading this post, click on the Google street view of the trip over Hoover Dam and it will open up a top-down view of the trip for you. Then, click on the words "street view" as shown in this picture circled in red (not in the picture, but once you click the link above):

It will show you step by step what the trip over the dam looks like.

You can look left or right by clicking on arrows in the navigation arrows, shown in the picture below:

and you can go forward or backward along the road by clicking the little arrow links on the yellow line, as seen in the next picture:

It's quit a bit shorter than going the other. way.

Isn't the Internet amazing?

Boy-see, not Boy-zee

2009-06-11T12:14:00.000-07:00

Sweeeet....

I was offered the job, and I am taking it. We're headed to Idaho!
By the way, the picture above? It was taken in the middle of the city!

My subconscious has a sense of humor

2009-06-06T11:17:00.000-07:00

So I didn't get hired in Kalispell. It was very disappointing, but I guess it wasn't meant to be. I have apps out at 6 other schools in that area, plus 2 in Idaho and 1 in Colorado, and Erin has an offer in Colorado, so we will decide by Wednesday where we are going.

Last night I had a dream that I went to a McDonalds for french fries (don't ask me why) and I wound up taking a job there. It wasn't too funny in the dream, but when I woke up it kind of cracked me up.

So keep your fingers crossed for us. Colorado would by no means be bad, it's just farther down our list; I just hope we hear from one of the schools in Montana or Idaho before we sign papers for Colorado. It would be a bummer to get an offer there after we were committed to somewhere else.

Who I've been hanging out with

2009-06-03T20:26:00.001-07:00

Another opportunity presented itself today for me to get nose-to-nose with a hummingbird. We were eating dinner on the porch, and I noticed that a hummingbird at the feeder appeared to be eating an ant. Only he wasn't eating it. It was eating him. The ant (a big sucker) had bitten the bird's tongue, and the bird couldn't get it off. We watched the bird struggle with it for a few minutes before we realized it was stuck, then Sara went in and go a paper towel, grabbed the bird, and then Jan plucked the ant off. The bird was exhausted and sat in Sara's hand a few minutes, before buzzing to the feeder. I got a good closeup, but it is a little dark. Then we went and took pics of the neighbor's baby foal Bella. Oh yeah, I got some good geese shots too. I miss living where there's more than just spiders and rattle snakes.

Where's Waldo

2009-06-02T19:32:00.001-07:00

I've have been quite busy since my last post. I had to basically get all my end of year work like grading and packing the classroom up done by last Friday, so I was up at school late, and I had 2 doctors appointments last week as well. But I am happy to say I got everything at school done, and so I never have to go back there again!

Since Thursday, I have been on a job-finding mission. I had phone interviews with Boise and Missoula. I flew to Salt Lake on Saturday and rented a car because driving is painful with my neck problems, and the flight was cheap. I drove from there to Idaho Falls for my interview yesterday, and then I headed up here to Missoula, a good six hour drive.
Today as I was headed out the door to an interview in Kalispell (a 3 hour drive), I noticed that the tires on my rental were bald down to the steel wires. Thankfully our friends Jan and Sarah, who I am staying with, loaned me their gi-normous truck and I made it to my interview on time. I think it went well, and I should be hearing back from them by Friday.
So tomorrow I have to take the rental to Firestone to replace the tires. I was expecting a hard time from the rental company, but they have been great so far. Tomorrow after I get the tires replaced I am going to drop three apps off in Florence, Stevensville and Hamilton, all tiny towns within 60 miles of Missoula. Then on Thursday I have a phone interview with Eagle, Colorado. Then I am headed back to Salt Lake, to fly home Friday afternoon. I have been so busy I haven't even had time to go fishing! (OK, that's a lie. I brought my fly rod as a carry-on, but I have had little time to fish, and the rivers are all still blown out from the run-off, so it's practically like not fishing at all, considering where I am...)
If all goes well we should know by this weekend where we are moving. As of this moment, I am pulling for Kalispell, but a lot can change in the next few days. I'll keep you posted.

Rivers, part one

2009-05-27T18:23:00.000-07:00

People mark the progress of their lives in many ways. We all share common measures, like the rites of passage our children go through, or the intimate relationships we’ve had. But every one of us also has more personal measures. Maybe it’s the music we loved, or different hairstyles we sported, or the moments we ate new things for the first time. An important one for me is rivers.

It’s no surprise that water has marked the canvas of the best moments in my life story. According to Ed, the old Vietnam vet who I briefly lived next to after my house burned down, I am triple Pisces. A fish’s fish, with fishy temperaments. Ed had a hole the size of a softball in the middle of his back, and was prone to bad fits of PTSD. Naturally, I didn’t question his reading, even if I did find it a little silly.

I don’t buy into astrology, but if I did, it would make perfect sense that many my most peaceful and profound moments happened in or near the water.

Up until I moved to Vegas, I always lived somewhere wet. Lubbock was no rain forest, but most years it rained often enough to keep the lakes from drying up, and the thunderstorms that would roll in in the Spring would sometimes dump several inches of rain. Before Lubbock, I had lived my whole life in Colorado, within walking distance of streams and lakes and raging rivers.

Today, I was sitting outside watching my class play soccer on the artificial turf. It wasn’t too hot, a pleasant surprise for Las Vegas at the end of May. I was listening to an 80’s playlist, daydreaming about where we were might move, fantasizing about catching fish. At that moment, I was struck with a sense of euphoric recall. I remembered a time in first or second grade, when my best friend Jodi and I were wading in the Snake River, which wound its way through our back yard. We had caught some frogs, and I could feel my frog’s cold wet little body in the palm of my hand. I could feel the tight constriction of my rolled-up pant legs on my calves, and the numbing cold of the water which leached into them. The water splashed up with our every step as it curled lazily past us, on down river.

Next my mind jumped to a scene, maybe in the fifth sixth grade. My mom, my step-dad Bob, our dog Hoss and I were eating a picnic lunch somewhere next to Clear Creek, just outside of Georgetown. We had meat and cheese sandwiches and Pepsi for lunch. I was standing in the water looking back at my parents, as Hoss ran up and down the riverbank, occasionally dodging into the willows which were swaying lazily back and forth in a slight breeze. I can still clearly see Bob's bushy seventies-style beard, and my mom's delicate form as she stood before the willows, a Pepsi in hand, the mountains and blue sky in the background making a perfect picture frame.

Fast forward to high school. There was the time we all took turns jumping from the cliff into Bear Creek, swollen high and dangerous with Spring run-off. So cold it numbed you completely in the time it took to cross the twenty feet to the other side. So small, the hole you jumped into was at best 3 feet wide and 2 feet long, carved out by a small waterfall. It was only ever deep enough in the Spring, when the icy cold melt water would swell the pocket to maybe six or seven feet deep. You had to land just right in the spray of the waterfall without getting sucked down by the undertow. You'd plunge in, emerge, lips purple, extremities numb... and then you'd paddle furiously against the back current, lest it sweep you into the rocks beneath the falls. Then you'd make it to the shallow water, crawl out and back up the cliff, soaking in every little ray of sunshine as if your life depended on it. And in a way, it did. It’s amazing no one died.

Then there was the time we waded across the wild waters of Clear Creek, just upstream from the Central City turn-off. Spring again, waves raging like the surf, the water the same color blue as the glass insulators we used to find on ancient telegraph poles near Montezuma. We stupidly forged the river, getting swept downstream a hundred yards before reaching the other shore, too ignorant to know the danger we narrowly avoided. Someone had drowned in the same spot a week later. We didn’t know though, and we wouldn’t have cared. We were hunting for a cave, and instead found a little lean-to at the top of the ridge. On our way back down, someone was taking pot-shots at us from across the canyon. The gunshots echoed off the canyon walls, and rock exploded above our heads.

Spring again, rafting down the South Platt in a leaking Sevlor raft. Four of us in a two-man boat, and one driving the road keeping pace. We switched out drivers every mile or so, emptying the raft of water and inflating it again for the next stretch. Somewhere around mile five, we had to swing wide to the right to avoid a waterfall, and Dave, the weak link in our bunch, over-compensated. We made it past the waterfall, but got spun around backward. In a perfect world we would have gone far right, making safely under the tip of a fallen tree, which was above the water by a narrow margin. Instead, we were swept against the tree, hitting it broadside, our leaking raft no match for the current. It folded, and got sucked under the tree by the wicked current. The others managed to bail out to safety, and were clinging to the tree, but not me. I was on the upstream side of the raft, and it was between me and the tree. I couldn’t grab hold. The river sucked me under right behind the raft. I hit my head on a protruding branch, got a nasty cut, and for a brief moment I thought that my luck had run out. I was pulled under and dragged maybe fifty feet downstream by the undercurrent, but then, as if by magic, the current released me. I popped to the surface like a cork, blood running down my face in rivulets, my friends hooting and hollering from the bank as I dragged myself ashore. Never before or since had I felt so alive, nor so invincible.

Facebook Top 5

2009-05-12T22:47:00.000-07:00

Top five reasons I should kill myself:

1. I am tired of hurting.
2. Hardly anyone would care, not really.
3. Life is just not fair, and I can't get over that.
4. I eventually hurt everyone I love.
5. That would show them.

Don't worry, I'm not actually suicidal. I just had a difficult day today. I was thinking about how when you're feeling shitty, it sometimes seems as though the feelings will never change. I was thinking, I can understand how someone could want to end things. Why someone would want to end things. But I don't. Want to end things, that is. I know that feelings are transient, and to use an AA slogan, "This too shall pass."

I was thinking about how in the last few days I have sent friend requests to five people on Facebook, all of whom I was extremely close to at one time, and none of them have responded. A few of them I know for a fact were hurt by something I did or failed to do, and a few of them I just lost contact with. But the fact that I can hardly find anyone from my past, and that most of the few I have found are not interested in talking to me, has kind of got me down.

So as I was driving home, I was thinking about this recurring theme in my life, being on the outside looking in. Not belonging. Suffering the kind of social status where my friendships were always peripheral. The kind where I was always the caller, and never the called. Where I wasn't missed when I didn't show up, and I wasn't included unless there was something I had that was needed. The sort where no one would care when I was gone.

But it wasn't always that way. For most of my life I've swung like a pendulum between two social worlds, the lonely and empty one above, and one in which I was at the center of things. Close friends, late nights laughing and having fun, intense love, both romantic and platonic.

But those good times now seem like a dream. And the people from them, the ones I loved and who loved me, simply disappeared. It's been years, five at least, since my social life swung back toward empty. So now I am seeking connections to the past, trying to reconnect, to recapture a little of the good things that were, and I'm turning up empty handed. It's kind of a bummer.

So now I'm wondering, should I be waiting for the other shoe to drop? How did I fuck things up so badly with the other people who used to love me that they won't talk to me ten years later? Am I doomed to do the same thing to those in my life today?

God, I hope not. If we are friends, be my friend and don't let me alienate you; I seem to do it without realizing before it's too late.

Boners Ahoy!!

2009-04-30T17:00:00.000-07:00

How can one guy be so funny? He just makes my day over and over again.

A Chair Full O' Sass

2009-04-22T22:13:00.000-07:00

Things have gone from annoying to unbearable at work in the last few days, but for now I'll save the details for another post when I have the energy to spew it all out.
In the mean time, I put forth the proposition that nothing is so bad that it can't be improved at least a little by kittens. For example,

See? Now don't you feel better?

Hannity and the rational voices of dissent

2009-04-20T21:48:00.000-07:00

I am finally conceding that I was wrong. Democrats are evil. Teabaggers are being taxed without representation. Obama is a fascist... And above all, Democrats want nothing more than to destroy America. I know this is true, because of the following quote I heard tonight on Fox News. I quote...
"The Left admits that they are just using the economic crisis as an excuse to go wild raising taxes, increase federal spending and enslaving America's children!"
I simply can't believe I fell for it.
Billyfishes of America, you were right all along!

What's been up

2009-04-12T11:06:00.000-07:00

Wow, lots has gone on since my last post.

I turned in notice on Friday, right before the break. I'm not signing on for next year. This has been years in the coming, and I just can't take working in this environment anymore. I'll spare you all the details (you can look back over 3 years of blog posts to see my discontent) and just leave it at this: I'll be employed elsewhere next year.

So, since my last post, Nick went to visit his mom in New Zealand. He was gone for two weeks, and had a good time do all kinds of fun New Zealand-ish stuff.

Also, Erin and I went to Montana to visit our friends Jan and Sarah, and to drop off resumes and interview with a few School districts. We have decided that we're going to do whatever we can to get out of Vegas this summer, and Montana is where we want to go. We would like to wind up in Missoula, but the school district in Helena was awesome, and the principal in Troy is the kind of guy I'd like to work for. Overall, Montana turned out to be a lot more progressive than we expected, which was fantastic, and we're really hoping to get job offers in the next few weeks. Anything will be an improvement for me. I think the stress of my sucky job is a huge part of what's been ailing me for the last couple of years. I realized over the last few weeks that I have been genuinely unhappy lately, and my job is the main thing making life that way. I need a change.

So anyway, we drove 990 miles nearly straight north on highway 93, which runs right by our house, 100 feet or so away from our front door. We diverted twice in order to save about 60 miles, and to get the chance to drive through some desolate, but pretty, landscape.
After a night in our van and 2 in Missoula with our friends, we drove the 200 or so more miles to Troy.
Troy was an interesting place. A town of great poverty set in a beautiful river valley. The school is 70% free/reduced lunch, which is a demographic that tells a lot. Even the worst of our inner city schools doesn't have that high a number, and the poverty is easy to see in the condition of the buildings and the prices at restaurants and stores. On the bright side, the schools seemed quite progressive, and the small-town feel of the place would be a welcome change. Also, it would do us some good to be able to work in a community like Troy, as you don't really get the same kind of opportunity to combat poverty in a city school setting. AND the sheriffs' calls section in the local paper are hilarious.
After our interviews, we headed to the Kootenai Falls, at the suggestion of the elementary principal. He told us we'd love it, and he was right. It is the canyon that the River Wild final scenes were shot in, and it didn't disappoint. Here's a picture of Erin and one of me:

The pictures don't do the place justice, but they can give you an idea.
Shortly after these two pics were taken, I took a mis-step and sprained my ankle. I've never sprained my ankle before, and goddammit, it hurt. Not only that, but we were out on the cliffs of the falls, so I basically had to crawl out of there to the path, then hop-hobble through the forest and back to the car. It was probably 1/2 mile, but it seemed like much farther. It wasn't pleasant, as you can see from this picture Erin took of me on the steps of the bridge we had to cross to get back over the traintracks to the car:

So we did make it back o the van, and by the time we got there, my foot was swollen pretty bad:

In the next town, Libby, Erin ran in to get some frozen peas and an Ace bandage. I managed to keep my foot wrapped and elevated for the next 4 hours as we drove back to Missoula, via Kallispell.

Anyway, for the rest of the trip I hobbled around on a cane, including when we interviewed in Helena the next day (the human resources director was sympathetic). Thursday we packed up and headed south, staying in Salt Lake that night and getting home Friday.
Nick came home yesterday (after 24 hours of flight and plane changes) and we have just been taking it easy in preparation for getting back to school tomorrow.
So that's what we've been up to. Hopefully we'll have job offers within a few weeks, though Helena said hiring could stretch on into mid to late May. We're just playing it by ear at the moment, not counting our chickens before they hatch, but hoping none the less that they hatch soon (and somewhere in Montana).

snailing your latte

2009-03-18T19:33:00.000-07:00

That's right. You've all got it coming.

IN the mean time, watch this:

If you live in Texas

2009-03-17T20:56:00.000-07:00

and give a shit about the education of your children, please read this blog:

http://skepchick.org/blog/?p=6476re

and take a few minutes to actually do something political by contacting a school board member. What's about to happen there is of momentous importance.

ARGHH! Ohmygod.. oh my god... wait, oh, ok... it's just birds

2009-03-13T21:05:00.000-07:00

I really thought that Rock of Love Bus and Tool Academy were about as far down as we could sink in our pop culture, but I was wrong wrong wrong.

Behold, Hot girls in Scary Places on E! Entertainment network... No, I am not making this up.

What really scares me is to think about what could possibly suck more, because sooner or later (probably sooner) somebody's going to figure it out and put it on television.

And they're "competing" for $10,000. Jesus.

It's the little things

2009-03-09T19:45:00.000-07:00

When I take the time to notice, I realize I enjoy and am amazed by lots of stuff.
For example, I received a mass-email yesterday, the gist of which I'll repeat here:

It is physically impossible to rotate your left ankle in a clock-wise motion while simultaneously tracing the number "6" in the air with your left index finger.

Friggin' Dang! Give it a try.

The brain is a neat thing. Or how about this:
Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer
in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, olny taht the frist and
lsat ltteres are at the rghit pcleas. The rset can be a toatl mses
and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do
not raed ervey lteter by ilstef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

How does our brain do that? It makes me want to learn more about language acquisition and brain function.

Little anomalies like these that go against what we would intellectually take for granted help to keep me on my toes and interested in things. Though trivial, the innumerable small surprises I come across in my daily life help to keep me excited about the mysteries I have yet to uncover. They remind me that no matter how old I get, I'll never know everything, and that's comforting.

Midnight rambling

2009-02-28T22:47:00.000-08:00

I had strep throat this week. It sucked, because I also just sent out progress reports and my little 5th graders have gone crazy, and the resulting drop in grades has left me with several parent conferences that need attending to. And it's the rare parent who asks "what can I do to help my kid get their shit together," instead of saying "you need to be doing more to help them be successful." I have to admit that I do actually have many parents who are supportive and who I just love. But the few who inevitably go into hysterics and start talking about how much they spend, and blah blah blah, really test my patience. I am NOT very diplomatic when I'm sick. In fact, I get kind of bitchy, and have little patience for emotional loonies, especially when the simple truth is that I take incredibly good care of their kids and if they'd put a little effort into actually parenting their children instead of trying to make them happy all the time, the world would literally change.

Did I mention that the filter between my brain and my mouth doesn't work well when I am sick?

I am about to start back to school for my doctorate on Monday. I took a semester off because of my health issues, but I am as ready as I'll ever be to get back at it.

Nick made his HS swimteam, and his coach loves him. He's leaps and bounds ahead of the other freshmen, and he likes his teammates. I think the exercise is making him feel better too, which is great. He's a really good swimmer, and I'm really happy for him.

Erin is hopelessly addicted to Civ IV. Seriously, she played it for over 5 hours today. She gets all snitty when you try to talk to her while she's playing. She's as bad about Civ as I was about poker at my worst. Someone should do an intervention.

We just finished watching Rome again, and if you've never seen it, you should; it's awesome.

Our kittens have doubled in size, and are too cute. There are a few pics at the bottom of the post.

Gran Torino is a great movie. Clint is The Man.

I hit 20 year sober two weeks ago. I'll be 38 two weeks from now.

No one I hung out with in HS or in college is on Facebook. I keep trying to find something I like about Facebook, but I can't. Like the movie History of Violence, Facebook is a stupid piece of crap, and I am right about this despite the 99 percent of you who think Facebook (and History of Violence) is awesome. It's not. You all have been victims of clever marketing and mob mentality if you believe something so incredibly mediocre and clunky is actually cool.

I know I'm at least a litttle hypocritical about the Facebook thing because I still occasionally use it, but for me it's kind of like re-trying foods I don't like; every so often I try things again just to confirm that they still suck.

And finally, I was watching Armageddon tonight (I can't believe that with 500 plus channels this is what I have to settle with) and there was a character who looked so familiar I had to look him up because I thought he looks just like Hurley from Lost. It turns out it's not him, but check out how much alike they look!

And here are the kittens.

Fifteen

2009-02-17T13:29:00.000-08:00

Nick turns 15 today.
Fif-teen!
We're taking him out to the Shark Reef at Mandalay Bay, then one of his fav restaurants, Bucca Di Beppo, for dinner, followed by getting comfy on the couch and watching last night's episode of Heroes.
Fifteen. Jesus.
Life starts out so slow, like you'll never grow old, and the next thing you know it's racing by like telephone poles from the window of a train.
I'm kind of dumbstruck at the moment, but happy... as well as excited for Nick's youth and the possibilities for his future.
Happy birthday Boy!@

Maybe She read my Blog?

2009-02-14T12:18:00.000-08:00

About an hour after my last post, Erin noticed that the cat had her kittens. It's funny, because we set up three possible nesting sights for her in our 10 x 12 spare room; one in the cleaned out closet, one in a specially constructed box, and one in a converted cat-carrier... and she decided that she must have her kittens in my best (and most expensive) suitcase, which I bought for my trip to Switzerland a few summers ago. Normally, I'd never spend so much money on something functional I could get at Target for around $30, but this is truly the best suitcase out there, especially for the kind of travel I was doing (and hope to do again).
Anyway, it was balanced haphazardly on top of some old computer gear in the corner near the bookcase, as we had cleared out the closet, expecting the kitty to have her babies in there, like a normal cat. I don't know what we were thinking.
Friggin' cats...

The town trollop's in a family way; and I'm a dragon-making genius!

2009-02-14T09:53:00.000-08:00

So we rescued this little hoochie of a mom-cat from the SPCA.

Erin wanted to have a kitten and I figured this would be a good way to get her one. The mamma we adopted, they said, should have her babies within a few days.
Well, that was 17 days ago. Personally, I am beginning to think they just gave us a really fat cat. If she doesn't have babies soon, her ass will be tossed back out on the street.
In other news, we had a Chinese NY parade at our school to "honor" the three new Chinese exchange students we got after the holiday break. Coincidentally, this celebration just happened to be scheduled when the big-wigs of the corporation would be visiting our campus. The prep-time we were given to come up with a dragon for the parade? 9 days....
Keep in mind that this requirement was handed down well after lesson plans had been made for that week, so we either had to scrap our lessons, or somehow fit the dragon-making process into an already tightly scheduled work day.
So I'm not a big fan of these last minute projects, especially when we run the risk of minimizing an entire culture by expecting students to do projects like this without any context. So I scrapped my English instruction for 2 weeks, and we learned a little about Chinese myths, their NY celebrations, and why they have some of the traditions during this holiday that they do. The lessons went off better than I expected, and my students were really into it.
Meanwhile, I was fretting over the actual dragon. With no guidlines from anywhere (we were told to figure it out ourselves and 'be creative') I was naturally concerned, as I can hardly draw a straight line, and am one of the least artistic people I know.
On the other hand, I am also one of the most creative people I know, especially when it comes to problem solving, so it was with mixed feelings that I designed a model for my students to construct.
I started by watching several Chinese NY parades. Seeing how intricate the dragons were, I was more than a little concerned about making a hideous failure of a project, but I figured if I could just get the head right, the rest would fall into place.
Other teachers were using paper, sheets, boxes, etc., but none of their ideas seemed to me to be something I could do well, and besides, I`didn't want to copy anyone. They were ALL doing projects which the students would wear, which is really more traditional for the Lion dance, not the NY's parade. In NY's parades, the dragon is traditionally held up on sticks, chasing a ball that symbolizes the sun. So I decided to build ours using only traditional colors for luck and Spring (red, yellow, orange) and to make it with PVC and foam board. The head I built from foam coreboard and balloons, and the students did the rest. I was amazed (and very pleased) by the results. We had senior art students asking if we'd bought our dragon, and it was by far the best one. The president of the company took a picture of our class to put on the corporate website, and in general we got lots of kudos, which was great. Here are a few pictures of our dragon:

So besides the trollop and the dragon, not much else is happening here lately.
Well, except for the fact that Nick is going to be FIFTEEN on Tuesday, and I'll have TWENTY years sobriety on Sunday. It's crazytimes, indeed.

Damn the KGB!

2009-02-02T22:43:00.000-08:00

Normally I am very good at finding things on the internet. However, tonight I looked around for about 3 hours (I even texted KGB, but they came up short) trying to find reference to one of the funniest commercials ever: a car commercial which featured a couple of LA hipsters getting in their car and heading to Vegas, with "Viva Las Vegas" blaring on the radio. They were all stoked, doing the head-bobbing finger snapping thing in tune to the music, as they came up on the Vegas welcome sign.

Then the commercial cut to a shot of them driving away from the city in near silence, looking very depressed. The only sound was the hum of the engine, and there was a caption that said something like "4 hours, 37 minutes and 800 dollars later." The idea was that at least the car (whatever kind it was) was a good deal, in spite of the otherwise very disappointing events of the evening.
If anyone remembers what car company this commercial was for, or better yet, can find the commercial on youtube or some such, let me know... It's driving me nuts!

More concrete change in 24 hours than Bush made in 8 years

2009-01-21T17:38:00.001-08:00

For all the BS Bush gave about being a Washington outsider, and his mission to "change things in Washington," things went along pretty much as usual after he was elected. Of course, Clinton, Bush Sr. and Reagan all made similar promises of reform. Yet no real changes were made.

So how completely refreshing (and I'm sure totally shocking to the Billyfishes of the world) when today, on his first day in office, Obama closed the revolving door on people employed by his administration.
THEN he put a salary freeze on his staff who make more than $100,000 a year.
Heavy, revolutionary lobbyist reform. Before noon on his first day.

Oh, and he also committed to closing Gauntanimo within a year.

And I did mention 'concrete' in my post title, so listen to this...
Today our local FOX station ran a piece on how Obama's grassroots election campaign has been transformed into a community action network, and here that meant that a local school in need of a paint job (due to the lack of funds in our state budget for such things, as our gov doesn't want to raise taxes, because, you know, businesses suffer) got one, from a variety of people in the community who believe in Obama's message of change and his call to civic responsibility. They used his outreach resources to coordinate. Read all about it here.

Change isn't just coming; it's already here.

This is sheer brilliance

2009-01-20T21:28:00.000-08:00

The following is courtesy of Brannon. He finds WAY more cool stuff than he shares, unless you visit him at home.

Long live Chanto!

I finally cracked (Sort of...)

2009-01-17T09:43:00.000-08:00

SO. To recap...
I had my first (really the second, the 1st was in August) spine injection a week ago Wednesday.
It didn't work.
In fact, it made so hurt so much that for three days I woke up, suicidal thoughts in my head.
I have NEVER had a suicidal thought in my life. Not ever. It freaked me out.
Of course, my pain doc said he'd never heard of such reactions, and blahblahblah.
I had a follow-up with my primary care doc on Monday, to let him know I wanted to take a different direction with my treatment, and to go over the list of symptoms I'd written up covering major things from the last ten years or so. Especially troublesome to me were the new symptoms of the last week, many of which were brand-new things to me, including a huge loss of appetite, obsessive thoughts of using speed again, and suicidal thoughts. ALL things that are COMPLETELY out of character for me.

I told him I really didn't want any more shots, surgeries or medications, and that I wanted to start looking into alternative treatments, like acupuncture or cognitive behavioral therapy; ANYTHING to help end this increasingly hopeless state of mind I've been slipping into over the last ten months or so. And I told him I wanted to begin getting off so many medications.
Since this summer, I have been taking 4 aspirin, 8 ibuprofen, and 1-2 tramadol every day for pain. The tramadol has narcotic-like properties, and so I don't like to take it anymore than I have to, which is why I've been alternating it with the OTC's.
In addition to the pain meds, I also take a muscle relaxer called Soma, Zyrtec for allergies, and Xanax for anxiety (to help me sleep).
All in all, it's a shit-load of meds for a 37 year old man who by all outside accounts should be healthy. I don't drink, smoke or do any recreational drugs, I eat fairly healthy, I've been sober just short of 20 years, and I ought to feel better. Even my CT scans, nerve conduction tests and MRI's have shown that, while I have some damage in my shoulders and some arthritis in my neck, nothing is outside the range of normal for someone my age.
So anyway, my doc is actually a pretty good good guy, and I like him, so I didn't argue when he threw three new prescriptions my way. First, he said the appetite and nausea problems were most likely due to stomach damage caused by all the NSAIDS (aspirin, advil) I was taking, and that I had to stop taking those immediately. He prescribed prilosec to fix the stomach ulcer, and absolutely NO NSAIDS, at all. He reiterated that the tramadol was not addictive, and that I should take it as prescribed, 1-2 every six hours. It wouldn't hurt my stomach, and it was not (as I had heard from another doctor) dangerous to my liver.
Then he prescribed a new arthritis cream called Voltaren. It is supposed to help with the neck pain without the negative effects on my stomach. Finally, he prescribed me Cymbalta. It is marketed as a panacea, a cure-ALL for multiple needs. Especially considering the depressive thoughts, he believed it would do wonders for me. In addition to being an antidepressant, it is a pain reliever, and it would allow me to drop my medication intake down to three (the cymbalta, Xanax, and the tramadol). He gave the the scrips and a sample of the cymbalta, and sent me on my way.
So, being desperate, I took a cymbalta when I got home, then I went to the pharmacy to fill the scrips.
Much to my surprise, however, the pharmacy wouldn't fill the cymbalta scrip. It turns out that cymbalta is not safe to take with tramadol.
WTF?
I went home and started doing some research. Not only is there potential for seizures when the two are taken together, there is moderate danger when taken with Xanax (though I found out cymbalta is also an anti-anxiety).
Hello fucked-up night of little sleep and paranoia.
Shortly after going to bed, I heard loud ringing in my ears. Weird flashes of pain, twitchiness... not to mention countless other irregularities in thought and sensation.
I don't know if the drugs were causing me to react strangely, or if it was just my worrying about it, but either way it was a rough night.
So anyway, I woke up Tuesday and went to school. However, I didn't take anything, because I was afraid of what might happen if I did.
And, it turns out, I made it through the day ok. Yes I hurt, but I realized that I'd been hurting for quite awhile while taking the meds anyway.
So I called my doc, who apologized for not knowing (it's not uncommon, and it is why we have pharmacists) and who told me to stop the tramadol and to wait at least 72 hours before resuming the cymbalta.
So here it is, five days since I've taken any pain killers (aside from the topical I rub into my neck) and I am feeling ok. My neck and shoulders still hurt, and I am still having trouble sleeping, but I haven't begun the cymbalta (I don't know if I will or not) and I've only been taking the xanax, which really does make a noteable (though small) difference in the amount of time I sleep.
I also went to an acupuncturist on Thursday, and it was pleasant. Whether or not it will really help, well... we'll have to wait and see.
My current plan is to stick with the acupuncture, play it a day at a time in regards to starting the cymbalta, and to begin exercising and working on stress relief techniques. I keep telling myself "baby steps, baby steps," and I am trying to get back to that old AA adage of one day at a time. I believe that the root of my pain and health issues is repetitive strain injury in my neck, due to my poor sleep hygiene and heavy computer use, and my inability to deal with stress. So starting out small, I've been walking for 15 minutes every day during my morning prep at the park near my school, and I am planning on seeing a therapist to get some help with relaxation practices and stress management. I'm also looking around for a physical therapist that can help me learn how to sit and walk in a way that will help me regain healthy posture and will help relieve the muscle strain in my neck. Erin's sister sees a guy in NY who practices The Feldenkrais Method. It is similar in philosophy to PT and chiropractic, but focuses on healthy movement instead of body parts like bones and muscles. Unfortunately, Las Vegas doesn't have any active practicioners, so I'll have to find something else, but approaches like that seem more like what I need than being filled with medicines that just interfere with the natural way my body is supposed to work.
The point is I am about finished with the traditional pills and surgery route, at least for now. I am not discounting the benefit of ALL medications, just the general idea that more is better where they are concerned. Simply put, I really think my problem is a holistic one, and I am trying some holistic approaches. At least for now.

And to end on a completely unrelated note, my friend Elaine found a little program which would count up the number of cuss words on your blog, with an assigned percentage. While I had no doubt I'd beat her out, I was surprised at how close our scores were, and that mine wasn't higher. My guess is that many of my profane utterances were obtuse enough to slip past the program's filter.

Fed Up

2009-01-09T23:23:00.000-08:00

I pretty much am tired of doctors. But I'm also tired of feeling like crap, so I've been a bit depressed lately, because the endless amount of several hundred dollar co-pays for procedures which haven't brought me any relief are beginning to feel the equivalent of throwing money into a woodburning stove. Add to that the cost of Nick's therapy of $250 month, and we've been spending thousands of dollars in the last six months that we didn't have budgeted. And, of course, I took a 30% pay cut to switch campuses this year (which certainly asn't helped!), with the expectation that career opportunity would make up for it, but not surprisingly our new head of school is no different than the others have been; he's never present, and has done nothing to actually improve the quality of the work environment for either the teachers or the students.
So I'm pretty much done. I think that my health issues are mostly due to stress, bad posture from too much computer, and general depression. Erin and I are looking around to move this summer, depending on Nick's feelings about school, which of course are among the top factors in any decision we'll make. He hasn't really connected strongly with anyone here yet, and he seems enthusiastic about the prospects of moving somewhere smaller, cooler and less Vegas-like. That may change (he is a teenager) but it probably won't. And if we're going to go, we really want to do it before he hits 10th grade, so he can have the complete HS experience wherever we go next. Erin's posted some of our considerations on her blog, so I won't repeat them here, and it's not a done deal, it's just the direction we're leaning. We ALL could use a change, and I know for me personally, a change in job is the very least of things on the horizon. If I didn't love my students so much this year, I'd seriously consider quitting my job right now, it's got me that down. But I DO love the kids I have, and I DO love my work, it's just the dead-endedness of my job career-wise that has me down, along with having to work under people who just don't give a shit or even have a clue about how to improve things. Combine that with the 19 shots I received this week, 5 in my mouth for a crown, eight in my shoulders into trigger points, and one in my neck which I got a neat picture of:

add my also having picked up a nasty bug on Monday from a student who came to school sick, which has had me feeling fatigued and nauseous all week, and you can probably understand why I feel it's time for a new approach to improving my well being.
I've never been a big believer in "alternative" medicine, but I am starting to reconsider. I have the feeling that, considering my general lack of results from the surgeries and shots in relieving my malaise, my problems are less medical and more behavioral/systemic. I've just not done a good job of taking care of myself in the last few years, as can be seen in my dropping out of AA nearly completely, to never meditating or praying, to not even being able to relax, ever. I still haven't even begun to deal with my dad's dying, and I don't know how to start. I think that it is literally stress that is fucking me up, but I'm not sure how to de-stress. Cognitive behavioral therapy? It sounds good, but I don't even know what it is! Relaxation techniques? Like what? Acceptance? I used to understand it, but from here and now it seems like that person I was is someone else, completely inaccessable to me.
In a little more than a month, I'll have 20 years sober. No alcohol, no drugs, a generally healthy diet and a nearly clean conscience... for 20 years. I feel like I ought to feel better than I do, and I'm not sure where to turn next, though I'm starting with my primary care doc and am hoping he can give some suggestions which will be in a direction away from other "specialists" and away from medical procedures of any kind. If not, I'm going to switch docs and try to find a DO instead of an MD...
So anyway, there it is.

Oh my gosh, you guys...there's SNOW in Las Vegas!

2008-12-17T17:27:00.000-08:00

To quote the cheesy holiday anthem, It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

According to the weather channel, we here in Vegas are under a severe winter weather warning until 6:00 tomorrow morning. It started dumping snow pretty heavily around 1:00 today, and it hasn't let up yet. Those of you from places that actually get snow, this may not sound like much, and it's not. But for lots of people here, especially my students, this is the first time they've even seen snow.
As a result, people are of course driving like morons, going at most 15 mph on the freeway, for example, when the roads aren't even frozen. It's a case of the overly-cautious causing dangerous conditions.
Add to that parents with overly dramatic attitudes to the tiniest of changes in the daily routine, and you've got what looks like our school's very first snow day. In Las Vegas.
Weird, I know. But also very pretty.

For a person who grew up in the mountains like I did, there's nothing like tons of heavy white snow coating everything to trigger memories of Christmas fun as a child. It really brings back vivid memories of building forts, hiding behind stop signs and then grabbing the bumpers of unsuspecting cars and letting them drag you over the icy streets, and playing the latest Atari 2600 games, like Pitfall or Adventure.

The Christians and the Pagans

2008-12-13T10:11:00.001-08:00

OK ok ok.

Here's a helpful quiz I've developed to clear up any spiritual confusion out there. Are you, in general, a happy person or a dour one? Do you live in harmony, or discord?

Take my handy "Christian or Pagan" holiday song challenge to find out!

First, the Pagans:

Now, the Christians:

Now think about the lyrics and decide, which song does a better job of representing what I think?
And don't forget to focus on what you THINK, not what you think you're supposed to BELIEVE.

Now before any of you Christians blather on about how this guy is not representative of mainstream Christianity, I ask you to REALLY look beyond the awful music to the ideas he espouses. I think you'll see he pretty well sums up the Jesus-thing.

OK then. Hopefully that will have helped everyone who was in doubt to decide once and for all if they have chosen their belief system correctly. No need to thank me.

Mazel tov,

Tyson

a purple wand and hairy sack of magic

2008-12-09T22:25:00.000-08:00

I heard a joke today. Here goes...

I booked into a hotel and said to the receptionist, "I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled."

"No," she says, "it's regular porn, you sick bastard."

In my opinion, the greatest comedian ever was Bill Hicks. This joke reminded me of a bit done by Bill Hicks on the hairy bobbin' man-ass one used to see on TV's in hotels in the 80's and 90's.
If you've never heard of Hicks, it's probably because he's dead.
He was a visionary; if you listen to his shows, you'd think they were made in the last 5 years, not 20 years ago. His political humor was transcendent, his religious humor merciless, and his sexual humor just plain hysterical.
Here's one of my favorite bits. It's sheer genius.

(WARNING: Please don't watch this mom)

Composition 9-6-77

2008-11-28T22:24:00.000-08:00

If I could be any vegetable, I would probably be a stalk of corn. Corn is a tall, superior vegetable over the others in a garden. Corn reigns tall and high like the king of the vegetables. (Pardon the printing, I forgot!)
All the vegetables would look up to me. I would be like the army commander over the crop. "Okay tomatoes and lettuce, at ease!," I would say. Yes, corn would see the sunrise and sunset long before the carrots and onions. Yessiree! The plant I would like to be is corn, King of the crop!

{End of composition}

Yeah, that's right. VIP, Beyotch!

2008-11-23T21:31:00.000-08:00

This was quite a fun weekend for us.
Through the generosity of a few student's parents, and some lucky good timing, we were able to have what amounted to an eight hundred dollar evening last night, and all it cost us was the tip at dinner time.
We started out by going to the Bellagio to pick up some VIP tickets to go and see "O." The show wasn't until 7:30, but we had to pick up the tickets by 6:00, so we arrived there at around 5:40. The will call line was about a block long, but after a brief trip to the Bellagio's VIP office, we returned to the ticket booth for the theater where we got to completely skip the line everyone else was in by standing in the VIP line. We literally had no one in front of us, though we had to wait for about five minutes. All in all, it was not a bad trade.
Now, normally I hate all things labeled VIP, and the VIP label is a total tourist scam here in Vegas, where it means nothing more than paying extra for no benefit whatsoever. This concept is so asenine that I won't even get into it here. Seriously, read this article about how one couple got scammed, and you'll at first feel sorry for them, but will then say screw 'em for trying to be elitist in the first place.
That said, there IS a real VIP world where people don't wait in lines and where you really do get treated well, and where you don't pay up front. And let me tell you, it's a nice place to visit!
To continue, for those of you who don't know, "O" is the flagship of Cirque du Soliel shows. It's the most expensive, the most intricate, and the longest of the Vegas Cirque shows, and it really is the best. We picked up our 6th row front-and-center seats, the best in the house, and then headed to dinner.
Dinner was at Joe's Stone Crab in the Forum Shops at Caesar's Palace. Between Nick, Erin and me, we had quite a feast. We started with some Pellegrino, and for appetizers we had 6 stone crab claws, fried tomatoes covered in spinach and cheese, and the Best oysters Rockafeller EVER!
The stone crab claws came pre-cracked, so all we had to do was pick away at the shells. Erin was non-plussed though, as she thinks crab is too bland. I thought it was great, and I love the story behind the stone crabs. The short version is that they harvest the crabs in the Gulf of Mexico by cutting off their claws (which grow back) and then tossing them back in the sea, presumably to regrow their claws so they can be harvested again.

This appeals to both my sense of sustainability as well as my sense of pity; I can just imagine some crab being grateful to escape with his life, who, after the umpteenth time of being plucked from the water to have his claw YET AGAIN striped away by some pesky bipeds, is about fed up with the whole situation. It was amusing to ponder the moral dilemma between sustaining a natural resource and being generally opposed to animal cruelty.
After the appetizers, we had our entrees. Erin had Dover Sole prepared God-only-knows how; Nick had Seafood Marinara with lobster, crab, shrip and mussels; and I had a $55 dollar bone-in NY strip steak, which, I'm happy to say, is the first steak I have had in many, many years which was so good it required no doctoring.
For dessert we had coffee and shared a sweet potato pecan pie, which was better than the sum of it's parts, and which Erin is obsessed with finding a recipe to duplicate. According to Nick, "Dinner's so good I'd be happy even if we didn't get to see the show," which of course a moot point, as we were going to see it in approximately 10 minutes!
We left our waiter a hefty tip (since the food was free) and made our way from Caesars to the Bellagio with a few minutes to spare. We got to our seats, and enjoyed the most engaging show I've ever seen.

As far as "O" goes, it's something you just have to see.

I'm a huge Cirque fan, and Mystere has for years been my favorite show, but I really think "O" topped it. It was just plain outstanding. After the show, we came home and just sort of basked in the afterglow of an evening WAY beyond our pay grade. It was fun.
Last night, as we were enjoying a few of the finer things Vegas has to offer, my thoughts kept drifting to my dad. He was a truly talented cook, and he took great pleasure in great food. My dad was also a huge Cirque fan, and I had planned to take him and Nancy (my step-mother) to see "O" when they visited, but sadly my dad died a week before their trip was scheduled. I kept thinking last night while watching the show how much he would have enjoyed it, and it was comforting to know that in spite of our differences, he and I shared at least a few things, including a love of great food and an appreciation of the wonderful thing that is the human body when the creativity of the human spirit is expressed through it, as it so magnificently is in Cirque performances.
So though our night as rock-stars is over, the memory lingers, and in some strange way, last night has made it a little easier to think about my dad, which I haven't yet been able to do at any length.

Terrifica, Fantastico and The Wet Blanket!

2008-11-21T22:26:00.000-08:00

I was poking around online, looking for pics of the super-villain The Wet Blanket. He's a character from the Graphic novel series Empowered. Empowered (Emp for short) is a "D" list super-chica with a fat ass and self esteem issues, whose super-powers come from a latex-like skin tight suit. The only problem? When her fragile suit gets torn, she loses her powers and often winds up in bondage, waiting for her fellow super-homeys to come rescue her.
Anyway, among the cast of characters we have on the hero side Ninjette, Thug-Boy (a former witless minion) and the alliterative Caged Demonwolf. On the villian side, among others,we have the Wet Blanket, whose power is to render others powerless when in his presence (kind of like the black guy on"Heroes.")
I couldn't find any pictures of him, so here's one I took w/ my camera:

So as I was looking for this guy I got distracted when I came across the true-life caped heroine "Terrifica!" and her arch Nemesis "Fantastico." Rather than tell you about them, you can click here to read their story, or just do a google search; the two are quite famous.

From there, I got caught up in the phenomenon of real life superheroes. Yes, they do exist. From the generic, to the boring, to the just-plain-sad, they run the gamut of stereotypes. However, one man stands among them, a TRUE hero, dedicated with single-minded purpose to his cause and living out his code. And that man is the enigmatically named Angle-grinder man!

This guy is a true hero, fighting the good fight, using the tools of Justice to rage against the machine of a cruel and unforgiving Big Brother. You go, Angle-grinder Man! Go go go !!!

Is Patience is a Virtue When you're Waiting on Vice?

2008-11-17T22:51:00.000-08:00

The author of my all-time favorite piece of fiction is George RR Martin. Aside from the fact that he is in a class by himself when it comes to the craft of storytelling, one of the reasons I like him so much is that on his blog, THIS video was posted,

with a comment on how very, very different advertising tactics have become in the last 38 years.
Also on his blog is a story of how his house was recently burgled (oK, burglarized) and that the only thing of consequence that was taken was a cool sword a fan had given him. I like a guy whose real treasure is, well... treasure. AND he had the presence of mind enough to mention to we, his faithful readers, that the manuscript for his next book is safe and sound. However, it's a bit late, and in my next post, I'll tell you about the tragedy of catching on to a great series at the wrong time in its publishing cycle.

I'm just going to sexually anthropomorphize the holidays

2008-11-10T19:01:00.000-08:00

I know that Erin and I are HUGE cheerleaders when it comes to Ryan North and his totally bitchen Dinosaur Comics, But I can't help it. Again today it made me laugh outloud and so I give kudos to him. It's a good thing for me he lives in Canada because his way with words has given Erin a little more than just an internet crush on the guy. The best part of today's comic is of course the mouse-over, so visit this link right here and see for yourself.
Friggin' Zeitgeists indeed.

Hotter than Georgia asphalt

2008-11-09T22:59:00.000-08:00

I just re-watched Wild At Heart tonight on IFC. I haven't seen the move since somewhere 'round 1991, and I had forgotten how much I like it then. Laura Dern was just too super-sexy in that movie, and Nicholas Cage was actually an actor I liked back then. It's sad to see him reduced to things like Ghost Rider and Bankok Dangerous. Anyway, as good as they were, the best scene in the movie involves one of the creepiest bad-guys in all cinema history as far as I'm concerned. Warning for those of you who haven't seen it: spoiler ahead.
Willem Defoe's portrayal as Bobby Perdue is just plain amazing. I can't even think of an adjective to describe him adequately in the scene when he sexually assaults Lulu. Think slimey and then tag an exponent to it; it was sheer brilliance.
Anyway, E's away for the week visiting her sister, and Nick and I are being bachelors for the week. Not much else interesting happening.
Oh, and I thought I'd mention that you sorry lot out there have left exactly 1 comment on my last 5 posts. Am I boring you all to death, or what?
I intend to find some way of getting people to acknowledge my existence again, even if it means resorting to something extreme, like posting soft-core pictures of myself in the mirror with my cellphone cam all Myspace style, or maybe reviving Audience Participation Mondays.

Thanks to Popo

2008-11-05T21:13:00.000-08:00

My friend Michael rips off a lot of good posts. In his latest acquisition, there is a link to the ironically titled American Thinker.
Aside from the broad definition of thinking as simply brain activity, this site and especially its commentators, are severely lacking in what could be considered reasoned thought.
As I was browsing the comments and shaking my head, I decided I had to have some merchandise from this site, like a shirt or a hat. What I found instead is perhaps the greatest example of dramatic irony ever demonstrated on accident.
Sure, dramatic irony's a common literary device, but to find it unintentionally is a treat for those of us who like such things. Therefore, if you're interested, first read the post and comments, then check out the bumperstickers this guy peddles...just scroll down about half-way; it's nothing less than pure gold!

Hallah-FRIGGIN'-Lujah!

2008-11-04T20:07:00.000-08:00

And AMEN!!

Um, maybe he needs professional help?

2008-11-03T22:23:00.001-08:00

Wow.
In doing my civic duty (which involves the tedious looking-up of the candidates running for judge in several districts (22 to be exact!)who are all listed as non-partisan, I came across this video of a judge, who by all accounts is conservative leaning. I was impressed, though, by her dedication to the defendant, and have decided to give her my vote, because it is all too rare a thing to see someone stick to what is difficult and right in the face of doing what is easy or politically expedient.

Giddy

2008-11-03T20:46:00.000-08:00

I am looking forward with great anticipation to casting my 5th presidential vote tomorrow. As much as politics can be exacerbating, depressing and/or annoying, our political process is really a wonderful and beautiful thing. And no matter who wins, it will be a step forward toward repairing the damage George Bush has done to our country and the cause of democracy in the last 8 years.
Here's to a brighter future for ALL of us!

It's too late! But...

2008-10-19T17:38:00.000-07:00

... this video is awesome anyway. Again, shout-outs to my moms- in-law for sending it my way!

You mean besides the health issues?

2008-10-17T21:27:00.000-07:00

I'm awesome. It's true. I know I can sometimes come across as an arrogant prick to some people, but that doesn't change the fact that I'm really good at my job and that I know how things ought to be done. Lemme just give y'all the run-down on my awesomeness so far this year, which I've managed to engage in between the endless friggin' doctors appointments and bouts of fatigue...
We are working on shifting our curriculum toward the IB (which stands for International Baccalureate) structure, as it really is a better standard than AP. What that means in a practical sense is that the organization of our curriculum needs to become more enmeshed, with less homework, more cross-curricular activities and assessment, and a driving base of social conscience at its heart. This is exactly the kind of work as a teacher that I love, and thanks to my circumstances being what they are this year, I've basically been given free reign to shape exactly what that means for our fifth grade. And I am really, really good at it. Here, in a nutshell, is the curriculum plan I've developed for this year:
Our theme for fifth grade is The Emerging American Identity. Or focus across all subjects is going to be on what it means to be an American, and how that meaning has changed over time as various minority groups have struggled against oppression. In history, we are beginning our study with the Civil War. We will be studying from then to present day, focusing on the political and social changes that have occurred, focusing on the struggle for equality of a variety of minority groups and the cause and effect relationships those struggles have had on one another. Beginning with the struggles of African-Americans immediately after the civil war, we will look at the meaning of American identity as it relates to the struggles of groups (focusing primarily on women, Indians, immigrants, and African-Americans) within our society to achieve greater equality, not just under the letter of the law but in the practice of daily living.
Paralleling our history studies are our reading texts. We have five core novels that we're reading as a class this year, each coinciding with the timeline we're following in History, and each dealing with the struggles of discrimination.
We started with The House of Dies Drear, which takes place in the 1960's but is set in a house famous for its role in the Underground Railroad.
Next is My Last Skirt, based on the true story of Albert Cashier (really Jennie Hodges) an Irish immigrant girl who lived her life pretending to be a man so she could earn her way fairly through life and so she could fight for her country during the Civil War.
Next is Hattie Big Sky, a story set at the turn of the 20th century, that exemplifies issues of both women and Indians at that time.
Following that is Dave at Night, a story of a Jewish immigrant in NY in the 1920's.
Finally, is A Year Down Yonder, set in the Depression era.

In addition, I created a book list of 35 or so books, all of which deal with American history and/or issues of the social ramifications of oppression and prejudice. I've read most the books on the list, and those I haven't read are all award winners and are on the list of best books for middle school put out by the American Library Association. And students are allowed to read any book not on the list, so long as they can compellingly justify why it fits our theme. They are required to read a minimum of three independent books each quarter in addition to our group books, and they must do a project on each.
I created a list of 30 projects which they may choose from. There are five categories of projects, which are Artistic, Written, Oratory, Technology, and Synthesis. Each category focuses on a different presentaion style, and students may choose any project for any book, so long as they complete one from each group by the end of the semester. From orally presented biographies, to written comics, to powerpoint presentations to presenting lessons to the class, my students have a wide range of assessments that they get to choose from, and which thoroughly cover multiple learning styles as well as basic literary elements.
So far the projects have been amazing. The students have chosen some interesting books not on the list, and I am enjoying the few on the list that I am reading for the first time. Of course, you can imagine my chagrin when I just tonight discovered that the currently most-popular book, The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian, has several pages devoted to confessions of masturbation, and sports such phrases as "Hey chief, did you know indians were made when niggers fucked buffalo?"
I am seriously hoping that the kids will be too embarrassed to tell their parents, but if I get any flack, I'll just fall back on that old first amendment thingy, as well as the fact that the book has won so many awards and so much praise the the jacket can't contain it all. There is noe explicit sex, and really, the book is just so blatantly honest and good that it's easy to move past the things that are prone to make 5th grader shocked and giggly.
Moving on...
In English, we're spending 2 days a week doing grammar, and two focused on writing. On the fifth day we apply those communication skills to Touchpoints, which is the program I was sent to Mexico to help develop, right before school started.
Touchpoints is an ongoing collaboration via technology, which culminates in two live video conferencing sessions between partner classes. Our partner class is in Monterrey, Mexico, and our topic this year is poverty.
Our course of action this year in Touchpoints goes right along with our overarchingl theme, as poverty is an issue deeply connected to issues of inequity and prejudice. To start us out I created a wiki page, and both classes (mine and my partner in Mexico's) introduced themselves and their communities via powerpoint presentations that they created in the computer lab. Next, we did some reflexive writing on poverty, to determine our own views, and then we compared our views with our partner class's views, to look for similarities and differences.
We will be using the wiki as our primary contact point, and students will work in small groups to investigate different aspects of poverty from a top-down approach. Starting with world poverty, then moving to country, state and city, each group will focus on a different aspect of poverty at each level. The aspects will be demographics, the response of government to the impoverished, community based action, and enduring problems.
At the two big video conference meetings, the two groups with the same topic (one from each school) will present their findings for their peers in some type of interactive lesson or activity.
So, that's what I've been up to.

One week and counting

2008-10-16T17:37:00.000-07:00

My first shoulder surgery is next Friday. I'm not really nervous, except for the possibility that it may wind up doing nothing to improve things.
This week I finally had a CT scan and an EMG done, both of which are meant to help diagnose the problems in my neck, and hopefully within a few days I'll know more. The not knowing doesn't help things.
The Monday before last, something weird happened. I woke up, and had an almost completely pain-free day. It was incredible! I've been seeing a therapist for a month or so, and it happened to be on that day, and she remarked about how balanced I seemed. I didn't really expect the pain to be gone forever, so I just sort of enjoyed the reprieve, and fantasized about how productive I could possibly be once I get past these nerve issues.
Unfortunately (though not surprisingly) the next day the pain and tingling and numbness were back, and since then, things have returned to the status quo.
I almost wish that that Monday had never happened, but on the other hand, it at least gives me some hope that things can get back to normal. I am beginning to think that stress is playing a much larger role in my ills than I previously realized, and I keep entertaining fantasies of quitting my job and finding a new life where I can fish, and play poker, and write (and I won't have to force myself to do it!) whenever I want, and I'll want to do all those things and more, because I won't have to worry about being a good parent, or a loving husband, or a good friend, because I'll just naturally be those things already, once I'm free from the burdens of adulthood.
I wish.
What it really boils down to though, is that I'm just kind of melancholy at the moment for having to grow old, and nostalgic for those times in my youth where I really didn't have any stress, and where there was plenty of time in the future to worry about things like work, or my family, or my health, or whatever. I miss those days.
But in reality I'd never really just up and quit my job. I like my job. I'd even do it for free (or at least most of it) if I had the financial means not to need it. It's just that sometimes it gets overwhelming, and sometimes you ask yourself the question, "Is the impact I'm having worth the personal sacrifices it costs?"

Please don't read this one, mom...

2008-10-13T17:06:00.000-07:00

Or if you do, don't mention it when we see you!

I run an after-school comics club on Mondays. We spend our time either reading, writing or drawing comics, and I have lots of fun with it. Today, we worked on poetry comics, which is where you take a poem and try to use the imagery to make a coherent comic. Shell Silverstein comics are a particularly good place to start, as the poems are very visual and often funny. I will post some of my students' comics in the near future, when they are done.
As most of you know, I am a huge fan of graphic novels and of comics in general. However, I am realizing that the selection of my favorite comics I can share with my club is narrower than I first imagined. Just too many of my favorites too are "R" rated in content to share with 5th and 6th graders. This is unfortunate, because among my favorites are some excellent examples of genre bending, which I'd just love to share with someone besides Erin. Ideally, I could do comics club with the High School or even college aged students, who would be mature enough to deal with the content and educated enough to examine them more as Art or Social Commentary.
Anyway, One of my favorite web comics, Questionable Content, led me to the following comic, which was terribly funny. For those Palin-McCain fans out there (I hear you're out there somewhere!) maybe you ought to stop here.

Making comics is fun!

She spent all day in the sock drawer

2008-09-28T18:36:00.000-07:00

Our cat, Calamity, just jumped up into Erin's lap. She's been sleeping on my socks and underwear in the top drawer of our dresser since 10 this morning.
It's got to be nice to be a cat.

more political stuff

2008-09-25T18:48:00.000-07:00

For the record,
I didn't write the bulk of my last post; I'm not really capable of that kind of creativity this early in the school year. BUT...
I agree with it, so that's that.
Here's another interesting thing I came across, concerning the latest bail-out plans... Do the math yourself, and you'll see it IS accurate. Kinda blows your mind, huh?

Oh, and Tammy... you didn't leave a link to the specific post you wanted me to respond to, so send it please. :)

So, the following post is a few weeks old. Considering that the bailout is no longer 85 billion, but 700 billion, you can multiply the projected disbursements to citizens by NINE... JESUS, it's CRAZY!

OK.....here's a plan I could live with.

Hi Pals, I'm against the $85,000,000,000.00 bailout of AIG. Instead, I'm in favor of giving $85,000,000,000 to America in a We Deserve It Dividend. To make the math simple, let's assume there are 200,000,000 bonafide U.S.

Citizens 18+. Our population is about 301,000,000 +/- counting every man, woman and child.

So 200,000,000 might be a fair stab at adults 18 and up.. So divide 200 million adults 18+ into $85 billon that equals $425,000.00. My plan is to give $425,000 to every person 18+ as a We Deserve It Dividend.

Of course, it would NOT be tax free.

So let's assume a tax rate of 30%. Every individual 18+ has to pay $127,500.00 in taxes.

That sends $25,500,000,000 right back to Uncle Sam. But it means that every adult 18+ has $297,500.00 in their pocket.

A husband and wife team has $595,000.00. What would you do with $297,500.00 to $595,000.00 in your family?

Pay off your mortgage - housing crisis solved.

Repay college loans - what a great boost to new grads Put away money for college - it'll be there Save in a bank - create money to loan to entrepreneurs.

Buy a new car - create jobs Invest in the market - capital drives growth Pay for your parent's medical insurance - health care improves Enable Deadbeat Dads to come clean - or else Remember this is for every adult U S Citizen 18+ including the folks who lost their jobs at Lehman Brothers and every other company that is cutting back. And, of course, for those serving in our Armed Forces. If we're going to re-distribute wealth let's really do it...instead of trickling out a puny $1000.00 ("vote buy") economic incentive that is being proposed by one of our candidates for President. If we're going to do an $85 billion bailout, let's bail out every adult U S Citizen 18+! As for AIG - liquidate it. Sell off its parts. Let American General go back to being American General.

Sell off the real estate. Let the private sector bargain hunters cut it up and clean it up. Here's my rationale. We deserve it and AIG doesn't. Sure it's a crazy idea that can "never work." But can you imagine the Coast-To-Coast Block Party! How do you spell Economic Boom? I trust my fellow adult Americans to know how to use the $85 Billion We Deserve It Dividend more than do the geniuses at AIG or in Washington DC.

And remember, The Birk plan only really costs $59.5 Billion because $25.5 Billion is returned instantly in taxes to Uncle Sam. Ahhh...I feel so much better getting that off my chest.

Kindest personal regards, Birk T. J. Birkenmeier, A Creative Guy & Citizen of the Republic PS: Feel free to pass this along to your pals as it's either good for a laugh or a tear or a very sobering thought on how to best use $85 Billion!!

Let's get political, political...

2008-09-23T18:48:00.000-07:00

think Olivia Newton John, and pronounce it 'plitical' as you read he title...)

OK.
In case you didn't know, I happen NOT to be a Republican (I prefer my thinking to reflect the complexities of reality, and my reasoning to be littered with facts, not emotions) and as a result the only reason I'm excited about Palin being on the Republican ticket is because I'm holding on to the hope that, as misguided as most Republicans are, even they aren't flat-out ignorant enough to want this woman a step away from the presidency.
Naturally, her now-vocal supporters have a slew of justifications for their support, in spite of Palin's many deficiencies in exactly the areas the Republicans attacked Obama for. I've been mulling this over for a few weeks now, and then my Moms-in-law sent Erin and I the following message. It sums up Palin hysteria in that it explains symptoms of the afflicition and their root cause...
Let me see if I have this straight…..

• If you grow up in Hawaii, raised by your grandparents, you're 'exotic, different.'

• Grow up in Alaska eating mooseburgers, you are a quintessential American story.

• If your name is Barack you're a radical, unpatriotic Muslim.

• Name your kids Willow, Trig and Track, you're a maverick.

• Graduate from Harvard law School and you are unstable.

• Attend 5 different small colleges before graduating, you're well grounded.

• If you spend 3 years as a brilliant community organizer, become the first black President of the Harvard Law Review, create a voter registration drive that registers 150,000 new voters, spend 12 years as a Constitutional Law professor, spend 8 years as a State Senator representing a district with over 750,000 people, become chairman of the state Senate's Health and Human Services committee, spend 4 years in the United States Senate representing a state of 13 million people while sponsoring 131 bills and serving on the Foreign Affairs, Environment and Public Works and Veteran's Affairs committees, you don't have any real leadership experience.

• If your total resume is: local weather girl, 4 years on the city council and 6 years as the mayor of a town with less than 7,000 people, 20 months as the governor of a state with only 650,000 people, then you're qualified to become the country's second highest ranking executive.

• If you have been married to the same woman for 19 years while raising 2 beautiful daughters, all within Protestant churches, you're not a real Christian.

• If you cheated on your first wife with a rich heiress, and left your disfigured wife and married the heiress the next month, you're a Christian.

• If you teach responsible, age appropriate sex education, including the proper use of birth control, you are eroding the fiber of society.

• If , while governor, you staunchly advocate abstinence only, with no other option in sex education in your state's school system while your unwed teen daughter ends up pregnant , you're very responsible.

• If your wife is a Harvard graduate lawyer who gave up a position in a prestigious law firm to work for the betterment of her inner city community, then gave that up to raise a family, your family's values don't represent America's.

• If you're husband is nicknamed 'First Dude', with at least one DWI conviction and no college education, who didn't register to vote until age 25 and once was a member of a group that advocated the secession of Alaska from the USA, your family is extremely admirable.

OK, much clearer now.

For those who still can't grasp the concept of white privilege, or who are constantly looking for some easy-to-understand examples of it, perhaps this list will help.

White privilege is when you can get pregnant at seventeen like Bristol Palin and everyone is quick to insist that your life and that of your family is a personal matter, and that no one has a right to judge you or your parents, because "every family has challenges," even as black and Latino families with similar "challenges" are regularly typified as irresponsible, pathological and arbiters of social decay.

White privilege is when you can call yourself a "fuckin' redneck," like Bristol Palin's boyfriend does, and talk about how if anyone messes with you, you'll "kick their f ... in' ass," and talk about how you like to "shoot s..t" for fun, and still be viewed as a responsible, all-American boy (and a
great son-in-law to be) rather than a thug.

White privilege is when you can attend four different colleges in six years like Sarah Palin did (one of which you basically failed out of, then returned to after making up some coursework at a community college), and no one questions your intelligence or commitment to achievement, whereas a person of color who did this would be viewed as unfit for college, and probably someone who only got in in the first place because of affirmative action.

White privilege is when you can claim that being mayor of a town smaller than most medium-sized colleges, and then Governor of a state with about the same number of people as the lower fifth of the island of Manhattan, makes you ready to potentially be president, and people don't all piss on themselves with laughter, while being a black U.S. Senator, two-term state Senator, and constitutional law scholar, means you're "untested."

White privilege is being able to say that you support the words "under God" in the pledge of allegiance because "if it was good enough for the founding fathers, it's good enough for me," and not be immediately disqualified from holding office--since, after all, the pledge was written in the late 1800s and the "under God" part wasn't added until the 1950s--while believing that
reading accused criminals and terrorists their rights (because, ya know, the Constitution, which you used to teach at a prestigious law school requires it), is a dangerous and silly idea only supported by mushy liberals.

White privilege is being able to be a gun enthusiast and not make people immediately scared of you.

White privilege is being able to have a husband who was a member of an extremist political party that wants your state to secede from the Union, and whose motto was "Alaska first," and no one questions your patriotism or that of your family, while if you're black and your spouse merely fails to come to a 9/11 memorial so she can be home with her kids on the first day of
school, people immediately think she's being disrespectful.

White privilege is being able to make fun of community organizers and the work they do--like, among other things, fight for the right of women to vote, or for civil rights, or the 8-hour workday, or an end to child labor--and people think you're being pithy and tough, but if you merely question the experience of a small town mayor and 18-month governor with no
foreign policy expertise beyond a class she took in college--you're somehow being mean, or even sexist.

White privilege is being able to convince white women who don't even agree with you on any substantive issue to vote for you and your running mate anyway, because all of a sudden your presence on the ticket has inspired confidence in these same white women, and made them give your party a "second look."

White privilege is being able to fire people who didn't support your political campaigns and not be accused of abusing your power or being a typical politician who engages in favoritism, while being black and merely knowing some folks from the old-line political machines in Chicago means you
must be corrupt.

White privilege is being able to attend churches over the years whose pastors say that people who voted for John Kerry or merely criticize George W. Bush are going to hell, and that the U.S. is an explicitly Christian nation and the job of Christians is to bring Christian theological
principles into government, and who bring in speakers who say the conflict in the Middle East is God's punishment on Jews for r ejecting Jesus, and everyone can still think you're just a good church-going Christian, but if you're black and friends with a black pastor who has noted (as have Colin Powell and the U.S. Department of Defense) that terrorist attacks are often
the result of U.S. foreign policy and who talks about the history of racism and its effect on black people, you're an extremist who probably hates America.

White privilege is not knowing what the Bush Doctrine is when asked by a reporter, and then people get angry at the reporter for asking you such a "trick question," while being black and merely refusing to give one-word answers to the queries of Bill O'Reilly means you're dodging the question, or trying to seem overly intellectual and nuanced.

White privilege is being able to claim your experience as a POW has anything at all to do with your fitness for president, while being black and experiencing racism is, as Sarah Palin has referred to it a "light" burden. And finally, white privilege is the only thing that could possibly allow someone to become president when he has voted with George W. Bush 90 percent of the time, even as unemployment is skyrocketing, people are losing their homes, inflation is rising, and the U.S. is increasingly isolated from world opinion, just because white voters aren't sure about that whole "change" thing. Ya know, it's just too vague and ill-defined, unlike, say, four more years of the same, which is20very concrete and certain.

White privilege is, in short, the problem.

feeling guilty

2008-09-21T22:46:00.000-07:00

... but not really.
More mundane to bad news, so I haven't been posting much. At least I have moved along a little in the resolution department. It turns out I need surgery on BOTH shoulders. I have a torn rotator cuff and a bone spur on the left shoulder (surgery in October) and a torn levator scapulae in the right (surgery in December) as well as arthritis and nerve impingement in my c-spine, with as-yet-undetermined treatment somewhere down the road. So in addition to beginning of the year stress, I've been a wee bit anxious over all this.
ON the bright side, I've been kicking ass at work in spite of the many Dr. appointments and the pains and fatigue that I've been experiencing. The project that I went to Mexico for a month ago is working out pretty well so far, and I am miles ahead of, oh, everybody (more than 20 schools and hundreds of teachers are participating!)
We're studying poverty, and using technology to collaborate, so what I am doing is using a wiki page (please don't leave comments if you check it out) to collaborate with our partner class in Monterrey Mexico. We've only posted our introductions so far, but I'm tying it in to our writing curriculum, as well as into our social studies curriculum, and it is just plain awesome. We're examining cultural relativism, economics, and reflexive writing as a doorway to personal growth, and so far it's been working perfectly. I'll go into the details of HOW and WHY it is awesome at some future date, but trust me, what I'm doing is just plain good, and sooner or later it's going to get me the recognition I deserve for making vision into reality. I know I probably sound conceited, but I'm just being honest.
I'm also kicking off a comics club tomorrow, where we will be studying the comic as a form of literature and art, and we will be creating comics (hopefully) by mid-year to sell to support our student council.
Anyway, it's past my bedtime. 'Nite.

T

More for Mom

2008-08-29T22:00:00.000-07:00

These are pictures of My mom and Bob's house in Mexico... We all miss it!
(Again, mom, just click on the pictures for larger versions, then you can save the larger versions to your computer; call me if you need help!)

For my mom

2008-08-29T20:41:00.001-07:00

So I haven't posted anything for awhile because I'm pretty much tired of complaining, and things haven't gotten better yet. The short version:

I got really sick last week, and thought it was a reaction to my neck injections
My spine doctor said it could be meningitis, and I needed to go to the ER, ASAP
I went to to the ER and got a spinal tap, X-rays, etc.
I DON'T have meningitis, thank god
No one knows what I had, probably was a virus
I missed the first week of school
I still have problems, but am no longer feverish and feeling like I want to die
So all in all, there's nothing I can do but what I'm doing, and who wants to hear the same list of unpleasant things over and over?

Anyway, I talked to my mom tonight (Hi mom!) and am posting a variety of pictures for her, and you guys. Here they are.
By the way mom, you can see larger versions of each picture by clicking on them. Love you! :)

In response to Elaine's latest posts...

2008-08-13T19:18:00.000-07:00

So this is how it is:
We came back to work this week. I've had my old room on my old campus packed and ready to move for most of the summer.. The problem is, the new campus hasn't had a room for me. I'd intended to work on curriculum and lesson plans, and setting up my room, etc. all summer, but it wasn't meant to be. I was finally given my room on Friday, and was able to move in on Sunday. Monday of this week, after nearly the whole day spent in meetings and presentations, I was finally able to get to work on my room. I spent 5 or so hours arranging desks and getting set up; In addition, I had to move all 200 or so textbooks from random closets (I had to hunt for them) on the bottom floor to my room on the second floor, since they decided over the summer to move all the classes from the bottom floor to the top (though they didn't actually move anything; that was left for us teachers to do). Fortunately, Erin and Nick helped, and we just borrowed a huge cart from a hallway and moved them all at once.
So I set out all my books, and then I went to get my computer from our computer tech (which had been transferred from my old system on my old campus in June, and which has all my curriculum maps, resources, etc.) He couldn't find it. I explained that I was going to Mexico in just three days, and thus really needed my computer, so I could set up my grade book, do lessons, etc. He said he'd give it to me by the next day.
Well, as of today (Wed. at 7:02p.m.) I haven't received my computer. Also, someone moved all the things in my room Monday night to clean carpets, so I had to rearrange it Tuesday (with Erin's help.)
As of today, our supply room is still empty (so I have no folders, no paper, no pencil sharpeners, no nada) and I haven't had the chance to even start lesson planning.
Oh, and did I mention that we were told yesterday that we have to create a year-long syllabus and accompanying rubrics that follow IB (International Bacculaureate)standards, which no one knows anything about, short of a 45 minute introduction earlier in the week?
When is it due, you ask? Why, Monday of course. (Did I mention I'll be at a conference in Mexico from 3:00 tomorrow until late Sunday evening?)
Anyhow, my neck's been really killing me (stress maybe?) so I am getting my neck injections tomorrow (thank god, they moved up the date!) at 7:45 a.m. Then at 3:00 I'm on a plane to Mexico for a conference. I return at about 8:00 p.m. on Sunday. Then, Monday morning all my students show up at 7:45 to start the school year...
AND they won't give me a key to come in Sunday night!
All I can say is that it's a god-damned good thing I work my best under extreme pressure, and that I am not prone to panic.
In fact, I'm not really worried about it. I think this situation might just kill (or emotionally scar) a normal person, but if there's anything I'm good at, it's changing horses in mid-stream. :)
And truthfully, it's worse than it sounds. Well, ok, maybe it IS as bad as it sounds, but it's a good opportunity for me to demonstrate my inginuity, and I really do happen to thrive in situations which most people see as chaotic. I have little doubt I'll get a few day extension on the syllabus, and as far as lessons go, well... I'm pretty good at making things up as I go along. AND nearly all my students and parents are from last year, so I have a good support system.
I guess my point is it's all a matter of perspective. I can make this seem like the shittiest experience ever... or I can make it seem at least not bad.
Despite the shakey start, I'm really looking forward to this year, but I'll save why for another post.

new heights

2008-07-29T20:30:00.000-07:00

I just had to post this.
Behold, the pinnacle of child-targeted American consumerism!

Bleh

2008-07-28T19:45:00.000-07:00

I have had more Dr. appts. in the last 2 months than in the 25 years previous... I am going in for a sleep study tonight, another MRI on Wednesday, a follow-up for the sleep study sometime next week, blahblahblah.
Until I have something ELSE to talk about, I don't think I'll be posting. My PT says that alot of my neck problems are made worse by spending so much time on the computer anyway.
I have to go to Mexico for a work conference on Aug. 14th though, so I'll post about that, if it's interesting.
Wish me luck.

I should have done this years ago

2008-07-23T21:13:00.000-07:00

I feel so old these last few days. Since Friday I have had an MRI, been to 3 doctors and seen a physical therapist. I haven't slept more than a few hours in the last three days, and I've honestly never felt so helpless before. It sucks.
On Friday I had an MRI of my C-spine, and on Monday I saw an Orthopedic surgeon about the problem with my shoulders. He ordered another MRI (of my shoulders) which I will get in a few weeks. It looks like the compulsive rocking I've been doing in my sleep for oh, my entire life, has caused so damage there, which is a separate issue from the c-spine stuff. I also have a long-needed sleep study scheduled for this coming Monday. I have the feeling that the insomnia and the accompanying compulsive rock-n-rolling I do while sleeping are responsible for most of my current problems.
So anyway, the MRI on friday shows nerve compression in three spots in my cervical spine, c 4,5, and 7. In the MRI it looks just like a little hourglass where the discs are herniated.
Anyway, I have been seriously obsessing over the lack of sleep and the pain for the last three days, which really isn't normal for me. I NEVER lose complete perspective, but I think I did these last few days. Hopeless is a heavy word, but it fits how I was feeling last night and this morning.
I saw my primary this morning, and he prescribed me Xanax to help with the anxiety (to help me sleep) and though I've always been opposed to taking benzodiazepines because of their addictive quality, I am so desperately in need of a few hours of sleep that I really have no choice. I'm a bit nervous about it, but I've taken narcotics as prescribed before, so things should be ok.
After him, I saw a spine specialist, who is going to do a nerve block by giving me some steroid shots in the neck. They have to knock you out for that, which I hate, but not as much as I hate feeling like I do. Hopefully things will mellow out between now and then. He gave me a shot in the ass of a drug called toradol, which is a heavy-duty NSAID painkiller (non-narcotic) which has helped things alot. It is supposed to last for around 5 days, and I think if I can just get some sleep things will improve greatly. I'm not sure I could make it a whole month (I can't get the nerve block until August 23rd) if every day is as bad as the last 3 have been, but I'm hopeful that they won't.
So there you have it. I HATE feeling like a whiner, and I hate going to the doctor, but not so much as I hate the way I've been feeling for the last few weeks. My reluctance to see doctors and to accept the possibility of any kind of debilitating medical problems when I was younger is kind of biting me in the ass. I mean, I've known for 9 years now that I needed to see a sleep specialist and that the lack of sleep was taking a toll on my health, but I always made excuses, like no insurance, then shitty insurance, then scheduling or other more pressing issues, etc.
But hopefully it's not too late. I honestly can't even imagine how things might be without some sort of pain or fatigue on a daily basis.

I guess Erin's not so bad after all

2008-07-10T14:28:00.000-07:00

So I wasn't looking forward to the long drive up here to Summit county, considering how messed up my shoulders and neck had been. I only drove 6 hours Tuesday, which really isn't much for me, and I stopped in Green River, Utah at a cheap motel called the Robber's Roost. It was 15 dollars cheaper than the Motel 6, and bigger and nicer as well. I went to sleep about 2, and got a decent night's sleep, all things considered.
Well, the next day (yesterday) was just awful. I got a breakfast burito and a mocha on the way out of town, and within about 15 minutes, I started to feel sick. Food poisoning sick. I managed to drive the 90 or so miles to Fruita, Co. where I had to pull over and puke my guts out on the side of the road. Lovely.
On top of the nausea, I still had about 3 hours of driving to do, and I was feeling the way everyone feels when they can't hold anything down. I tried drinking water, but puked that up too.
So I stopped for a nap under a tree near Rifle, Colorado. After nearly an hour I decided that I had to continue on. I still felt like shit, but since I'd given up on eating or drinking anything, I figured the best thing to do was drive on, as the longer I waited, the worse and more dehydrated I'd feel.
I made it without incident to the top of Vail pass, which is about 2o miles from my sis's house, and there on the side of the road were two perfect little lakes, with fish rising. I pulled over, intending to fish for only a few minutes, but as soon as I stepped out of the car, I got so dizzy I gave up on the idea. You know I'm really sick when I can't stop to fish in a spot like that. It sucked.
Anyway, I got to Nicole's, and fell asleep from 4 til about 8:30. I felt much better, though still very weak. Nicole had gotten me some pedialite (which is gross, but does the job) and some chicken noodle soup. I ate, drank, watched So you think you can dance, and went back to sleep at 11.
This morning, I woke up feeling much better than I have in days. I ate a bagel for breakfast (I didn't want to over-do it in case the sickness was lingering) and I went fishing.
Well, I don't know if it's the bug passing, or the mountain air, or just the act of fishing, but I feel great. I caught 3 trout, and long distance released (that's lost to you non-fishers out there) 4 others, and it was just great. My biggest fish of the day came when I was walking back to the car. I called Erin to check in and say hi, and while we were talking I just kind of absent-mindedly flicked my fly behind a rock one-handed, and this healthy trout just swam up and ate it. I was like "Oh my gosh! I caught a fish!" and Erin was like, "What?" and I told her I had to go so I could play and land him. all I had on me was my phone, but I managed 3 pics of the fish, a nice fat rainbow trout of probably 15 inches or so. I tried to text-message the pics to Erin, but she doesn't get multimedia on her phone, so the pics will have to wait til I get home and can download them from my phone to my laptop.
So in the end, I'll credit Erin for that last one. In spite of her hook fiasco in the Sierras a few weeks ago, I never woulld have caught this fish if I hadn't stopped in that spot to call her, so it all worked out. :)

Nerves making me nervous

2008-07-07T18:22:00.000-07:00

I've been having issues with my neck and shoulders for a few years now. Unfortunately, I tend to ignore minor pains and aches, because when I was younger it was easier to do so, and at the time I didn't have any insurance, so there was no point worrying about it.
About 3 years ago I got a small tear in my ulnar nerve. Long story short, after 10 months of hoop-jumping, I had a surgery in which they moved my nerve from around the elbow to lay under the muscle; this was supposed to alleviate the problem.

For the most part it worked.
However, during the 10 months I was hoop jumping, there were occasions when I would tweak the nerve by moving my head a certain way, and it would send a jolt down my arm or up my neck. Sometimes these jolts were so strong that they literally made my black out; kind of like when you get punched in the face.
Anyway, for the last few months I've been dealing with tight neck and shoulders, with the tightness and pain sometimes radiating into my arms. I've seen 2 physical therapists, and though they haven't been unpleasant, they haven't done anything to alleviate the actual problem.
So these last few days have been pretty bad. I am not usually one to complain, and I've always had a bias against younger people who constantly complain. This attitude no doubt came from all the AA people I saw over the years who went on disability, or who constantly took painkillers, or meds, or whatever... and who, in my mind, simply didn't want to work; I took their complaints as excuses fabricated because they didn't have it in them to get their shit together. They exemplified a culture of victimhood, and I silently judged.
Now, I know not everyone was doing this; some people did (and still do) have legit ailments. But most were not as bad off as the claimed.
Now, I am in the unenviable position of basically feeling like shit nearly all the time.
I have been trying to get things taken care of now that I have some decent insurance, but nothing so far has addressed the real issue, whatever it may be.
I am getting a sleep study done at the end of the month. I have had serious insomnia for over 10 years now ( and I mean clinical insomnia; I rarely sleep more than 6 hours at a stretch, and can remember only three nights since we moved to Vegas where I slept an unbroken 7 hours; once in San Jose, once in Switzerland, and once a few months ago. EVERY other night for a decade or more I've slept in fits and starts, usually to the tune of about 5 hours a night. It sucks.)
About a month ago I finally got a lift (my right leg is shorter than my left, and the doc thought that may be contributing to my neck and shoulder issues), but I'm wondering if it may be the reason for my current neck problems. In the last month or so, my neck and shoulder stiffness has gotten noticeably worse.
So that brings me to today. I was laying on the bed this morning, on my stomach, and when I stretched my arms above my head I felt a sharp burning pain right next to my armpit. As far as I can tell, it's exactly in the sheath-thing that covers the main nerve into the arm. It really hurt, but I kept stretching, hoping that doing to would loosen things up. Well, a little later I took the bike to a coffee shop to do some work. As I was typing, the numb-tingles associated with my original ulnar nerve damage crept up, only this time it wasn't just in my fingers. I've got numbness and tingles in all of my left hand, as well as sporadic feelings of stuff crawling up and down my arm. The tingling is also wandering up to my neck. It has me pretty worried, and I am so not a worrier.
So tomorrow I have an appointment with my doc. Hopefully he'll refer me to a neurologist. I've done some poking around, and all the symptoms indicate an impinged nerve, but they checked for that when I first went in a few years ago, and said that wasn't the case. They took X-rays, but not an MRI or CAT scan, so hopefully they will do one of them and find out what's wrong.
I just hope that they can get to the bottom of the problem. I am beginning to forget what it feels like to not ache, and it's starting to really get to me.
I honestly can't imagine what I could accomplish in my life if I actually could get a full night's sleep and could wake up and go through the day without hurting. I hope someday I can find out the answer to that question.
OK, enough complaints from me; I'll post more after my doc appt. tomorrow.

breakfast restaurants, and crazy menu selections.

2008-07-06T12:00:00.000-07:00

Finding a good breakfast restaurant isn't easy. Most of them (most restaurants really) are quite mediocre. But today, while poking around for places to get breakfast in Vegas, we came across the Hash House A Go Go. I'm not sure if their food is good, because we haven't eaten there, but their menu is great.
Especially their O'hare of the Dog. What is it, you ask?
Well, it's a 24 oz. Budweiser. With a side of bacon.
So far, that's the funniest breakfast menu item I've seen. Can anyone top that?

chicken sadly decontextualized.

2008-07-04T16:17:00.000-07:00

Linguistics is fun.

A trip down memory lane via cereal boxes

2008-07-03T21:21:00.000-07:00

I don't know why I go off on these little internet missions, but I just spent the last 2 hours looking at vintage Starwars toys. Specifically, I was looking for a little hand-held movie camera thing which I shoplifted from a K-mart when I was 7. How I wound up in a K-mart by myself late in the evening at age 7 is an interesting story, but one for another time. Anyway, the toy in question had little cartridge things which, when inserted and cranked with a handle on the side, presented actual movie-sequences through the viewfinder. It was a cool toy.
So anyway, I didn't find it, but as I was occasionally reminded of various Starwars toys from my youth, I told Erin about a landspeeder string-glider I once got from a box of cereal. It was hella cool. And then, of course, I found a picture of the exact cereal box it came from.
Friggin' internets.... it's constantly amazing. I don't know where this guy finds the time, but his comprehensive list of cereal boxes with Starwars related themes reminded me how much I used to covet things which no longer exist, like Crazy Cow cereal. Crazy Cow: you can't get much more 1970's.
Now I'm off to find pics of the Guns of Navarone mountain playset I used to use as a battlestation in opposition to my Death Star.

Car woes, and excessive heat warning

2008-07-03T13:31:00.001-07:00

I've been sitting for the last 3 1/2 hours at the dealership where they just rebuilt our engine last week. Our check engine light came on yesterday, and I guess that it's not a big deal, but they had to update our car's software, and for some reason, it's taking a really long time.
Fortunately, the dealer has free wifi, so I've been able to get some school work done, and now I have time for a blog post.
Yesterday evening, the weatherman announced that the NWS has issued an excessive heat warning for today. Officially, our high is supposed to be 112, which means in reality that on the street it will be close to 120 this afternoon. That, combined with high ozone and the smoke drifting into the Vegas valley from fires in Cali means that we should not go outside today, if we can help it.
I for one, had planned on spending as little time outside as possible when it gets its hottest, but this unplanned nearly 4 hour detour to Toyota has mussed up my plans, and I will be stuck driving around more than I had intended.
This, of course, has made me a bit grouchy, but since my one actual planned trip out today is to the physical therapist to get my stiff neck and shoulders worked on, it's not all bad.
Since I have nothing else to do, here's a few random pics I've meant to post in te last several weeks. You can figure them out.

The 90's

2008-06-30T20:58:00.000-07:00

So we just finished watching VH1's top 100 songs of the 90's, and it did 3 things:

1. Reminded me of this video.
2. Reminded me how totally hot I am for Liz Phair (listen to Flower... I mean GOD!)
3. Made me wish I could remember my own life more vividly, more often

Man, it just amazes me how music can bring back memories like nothing else:

Into The Great Wide Open playing as B and I raced down the Texas highway, to go climbing in Mineral Wells

Under the Bridge as I went to get my motorcycle registered with a yuppie republican girl from my scholarship program named Allison... I remember she used to come to class with a "Texans for Bush" bumpersticker pasted across her crotch (that was Bush Sr. for you kiddies!)

The first time I heard Smells Like Teen Spirit... B came over to my hovel on 35th street with a cassette tape of Nevermind; we listened to the whole thing, amazed and thoroughly amused by the sheer balls of the song Polly.

I could go on and on, but I won't. I'm just glad for the music, because I have forgotten (or at least put out of mind) most of my short existence in this life, and sometimes music brings it back, if only for short moments.

How Erin ruined my vacation, part 1

2008-06-27T10:37:00.000-07:00

So we're at the beautiful Rock Creek lake, and we'd just found the coolest little hike-in camping spot, and I'd FINALLY caught a little brook trout after months of anticipation, when we decided to move to the lake to fish. Here it is:

So I set Erin up with a spincast rod and a rooster tail, because they are the easiest and most likely combination to help her catch a fish. As I was just settling in and had my eyes on a roaming rout, I hear "Um, honey. I hooked my leg. Can you come get it out?"
Well, I figured sure, it'd be no problem. Wrong again. She'd lodged TWO of the tines on the treble hook firmly in her leg. I didn't have a knife or a razor, so we got the camp host to clip off the rest of the lure from the hook. It looked like this:
Anyway, we made an unexpected trip to the ER in Mammoth, where we had the quickest ER visit EVER, though they looked at Erin like she was a dope for coming in to get a hook out, until they realized it was two tines. Then the doctor tied string around both parts, gave a yank, and the hook was removed. The best thing (besides the quick turn-around) was that it cost us nothing at all... Hooray for E's bitchen insurance!
Here she is finishing the admittance paperwork. Notice the hook still in her leg.

We made it back to camp in under 3 hours, got a decent night's sleep, and were up and fishing at 7:15. I caught 5 fish this morning, and Erin hasn't maimed herself yet, so I guess all is well and I can forgive her for the lost hours of fishing last night. She even tried her hand at fly-fishing again this morning, though she promptly got tangled in a tree immediately following this photo:

We had to make a run to town (hence this blog-post) but now we're headed back to camp, and more fish. This morning was good, and though the five I caught were from 8 to 14 inches, I nearly fell in when a bruiser of a brown trout (he was at least 20 inches and 3 lbs.) swam right by my feet as I was casting to a pod of risers. I have needs to make said fish my bitch, and barring any catastrophe, will give it my best shot.
And by the way, you better not fall in, hook yourself, get bitten by the giant coyote roaming camp, contract rabies from a marmot or whatever else might interfere with my pursuit of fish Erin! :)

Gaaahhh!

2008-06-22T17:00:00.000-07:00

Some people have too much time on their hands. I'm one of those people, at least for the next month or so. I'd like to be one of the ones who knows how to use their free time to do something creative, or constructive, or social, or whatever, but Elaine pretty much nailed it when she said "look around, say 'fuck it,' and go sit on the couch and look for more cool things on the internet" in response to my post a few days back.
We have had friends visiting from Cali for the last few days, which has been great, as it's gotten us out of the house. However, Toyota still hasn't finished our car yet, but they at least gave us a rental with AC so we can now leave the house without having to put up with extreme discomfort. I had to drive the van across town yesterday at 4:00, and I'm not exaggerating when I say it was at least 120 degrees in my car, because it was about 112 outside and my van was much, much hotter. By the time I got home, I was hot to the point of nearly tearing up, and I was practically delirious. But then Erin showed up in a scion with excellent AC, and I was so happy we just drove around the block a few times to recapture the feeling of driving without being miserable.
So anyway, we were out with our friends, hanging out by the pool after dark, and, to my horror, Erin was wondering "who the fat guy with our friend was," when she realized it was me.
Fucking ouch!
But it is true. My spare tire has expanded in the last months or so up toward my shoulders, and my thighs brush against each other when I walk, which is really, really annoying.
I don't look like a blimp or anything, but goddamn it if I haven't always assumed I'd be skinny as a rail without ever having to worry about it. And now I'm not.
I eat pretty healthy, but have done dick for exercise for the last few months, and it's starting to show.
So we went to the gym today, but I'm not very hopeful at the moment. I've been doing the gym thing on and off for several years, and I'm obviously not doing something right. Although to be fair, I've never really gained significant weight or changed pant or shirt sizes until the last few months. This simply will not do.
OK, enough complaining and enough whining. I'll post something more cheerful someday, maybe.

another reason why I LOVE Texas... The Texas GOP!

2008-06-17T19:46:00.000-07:00

Ok, ok...

I really only am fond of Texas for its geography and the few of you that still live there.
BUT...
I am amused (in the same way you can be amused by the senile old uncle who's so brain damaged that he gets away with racial slurs and blatant sexism) of the shamelessly racist, anti-feminist, and otherwise bigoted way that the Texas GOP handles itself.

At least in Texas, they don't secretly pretend not to be racist while cracking nigger jokes and wetback jokes under their breath, no sir. They proudly hock things like this at their state republican convention.

Who says Texas aint great?

Trying to find something constructive to do

2008-06-15T19:55:00.000-07:00

So since I'm not going to Switzerland, we don't have a trip to Tetons/Yellowstone in the works, and I'm not teaching summer school, and I just finished my second 6 hour doctoral class by writing a 24 page paper (with sappy accolades from the professor and a high "A" ), not to mention the fact that our only car with A/C needs a new engine (and it's been hitting the 100-teens in town the last few days), I find myself for the first time facing a summer break with no plans, no transportation, and no money (the car's only going to be about $2200 instead of $4000, but still). So I'm trying to find cheap, constructive things to occupy my time. Erin and I will go camping once the car is fixed, but in the mean time, I'm not sure what to do with myself, so I made a list, and here it is:

make a trailer for my bicycle

pack up my old classroom

fix things around the house, including but not limited to a broken window, loose faucet, roof leak, and broken tile in the bathroom

do some routine maintenance on the motorcycle

clean up yard

I fully anticipate having these things completed by this coming Sunday. The only hitch is all the outside things will need to be done early, because it's just too hot to sit in the driveway, for example, any time after about 10:00 a.m.
So anyway, while I was trying to find the link to the plans for the bicycle trailer, I found this site which is full of great DIY projects... Check it out.

Jesus Christ, did you see that?!

2008-06-14T12:08:00.000-07:00

OK,
For what it is worth, I have sooo felt like Tammy before, wishing on the one hand that I had it in me to just give in to the fairytale of the prevalent Christian faith, for no other reason than to feel connected, both to others and to the big scary unknown, and on the other hand, being afraid of that happening to me against my will.
I've known too many good people over the years who, after not having seen them for awhile, have suddenly found Jesus, and become less than they were. I'm sure they would see it just the opposite, but I'm speaking selfishly here. When people I've known go all Jesus-y, they invariably become more shallow in every conceivable way as far as my interactions with them are concerned. Period. I NEVER want to do that. And I don't care to enter into any type of theological debate here either. I'm just saying that in my experience, every person I've known who has found Jesus has suffered a tangible loss that affects me directly. And it isn't just my bias against religion that makes me see it. I've noticed the change in certain friends before they revealed their new-found faith. It's nothing I want, and while I can understand their belief in the benefit of their new faith, I just don't believe it to be anything more than a giving -up, or a settling-for.
Death, God, what happens next.... all of it is so uncertain, and I as much as anyone else yearn for the truth... but not so much so that I am willing to accept anyone's belief structure because parts of it seem to ring true. I am constantly struggling with reconciling my belief that there is a God and the uncertainty of ever knowing. One thing I know IS certain is that life is short, very short, and it is all we know we have, and that the only consequences that I am concerned about relate to this life. I struggle not with the what-if's of what comes after, but with the choices I make with the limited time I have.
I'm not a person who needs a great deal of comfort, and I guess that is both a blessing and a curse.
My father's dying made me realize that I squandered a lot of time, and I wish I had worked harder at setting things right with him. But now that he's gone, I'm not concerned with ever seeing him again. What I have left of him that he left behind is nothing tangible, but it's enough... it has to be. There's nothing else.
But that's OK.
I used to be afraid of turning into my father. And there are parts of him, big parts, that I see in myself that I am still afraid of and that I don't want. But his passing has revealed to me the good parts he's left in me, and they are good things.
I believe in the divine nature of the human spirit. And I don't mean spirit in the sense of some entity that goes on after our bodies perish. And I don't mean divine in the sense of some omnipotent power. I mean spirit in the sense of a human willingness to step into the unknown boldly and joyfully, embracing the fear and uncertainty that comes along with doing so, just to see what is possible. And I mean divine in the sense of brushing against something larger than just one life. Whether that's an idea, or a force of nature, or some collective subconscious or whatever, it is connecting to something bigger than just our own limited experience.
Though my dad made his way back to church in his later years, that is not what he left me that I value. He left me something greater than that.
His appreciation of performance art and music verged on awe, and this perception is something we share. It is a huge part of what gives me comfort. It is the way I see the divine, and it doesn't come from an outside source; it is purely human.
It's in the amazing stories of people exceeding the limits of what came before, whether in art or science or politics... in all the thousands and thousands of ways people do it every day, that I find comfort and hope and connectedness. And most importantly, inspiration to join in and participate in the unique gift of being human.
To illustrate my point, I offer these few things; they are just examples of some of the amazing things people can do that happened to come my way today.

Read about how scientists are combining viruses and nanotechnology to be beneficial.

Read here to check out one of my favorite poems by on of my favorite poets.

Now watch these videos. I mean, DAMN...

Second Childhood

2008-05-31T12:33:00.000-07:00

My dad wrote for his church newsletter. The following piece was written by him, about a week before he died. I think it's the best thing he wrote.

Second Childhood
By Tony Downey

When I first heard the expression, "He's living his second childhood," I had no idea what it meant. I thought it referred to an older man purchasing a flashy sports car, marrying a woman half his age, or dyeing his hair and using tanning lotion - actions resulting from a desire to look many years younger and recapture his long lost youth. But now, after more than seven decades on this planet, I've come to realize what the expression really means, at least in my case. It is a mixture of nostalgia, youthful innocence, forgotten potential and unrequited love. I find all of these images in my recurrent memories, drifting back to my own childhood when everything was so clean and simple. I recall the sound of music, the taste of sweetness the thrill of cold rain on my face on a hot day, the unbridled freedom taken for granted, peer status with my pals, the smell of earth as Spring thaws the frozen ground; the softness of my mother's touch, the absolute authority of my father.

But then I grew up and learned the ways of the world: ambition, competition, conflict, jealousy, selfishness, arrogance, hatred, lies and frustration. Surrounded by these elements, I fought to stay above them, but fell victim to many - many more than I wish to confess. It is only by God's grace that I have survived, bent, but not broken. While not yet counting my days, I can see these final events looming on the not so distant horizon.

Falling back into my second childhood, remembering and relishing these boyhood memories of blissful ignorance, I am able to bask in the enduring peace and forgiveness and look forward to that ultimate reconciliation, when all that was will be again, and I return as a child of the light.

I don't hold to my father's religious convictions, but I am happy that they gave him solace, and that he died as he always hoped he would: quickly and unexpectedly, and at peace with all his children.

I have to admit, this is pretty uncanny...

2008-05-29T18:02:00.000-07:00

So my brother sent me this link, and it is pretty cool... check it out!

Putting things in perspective

2008-05-24T15:06:00.000-07:00

I am not always a good friend, a good husband, a good father, or a good son. In general I try stick by my ideals, but as I get older, I find myself more and more often living in the gray areas between. It hasn't always been this way.

When I was younger I was fiercely loyal; I sought to be just in thought and action; I had a high moral standard. I knew what was right, and more importantly, I recognized wrong, especially in matters of family, friendship and love.

Or so I thought.

I took great pride in being right, ocasionally at the cost of hurting or even losing people important to me. I realize now that I am older that being right isn't always the most important thing. Especially concerning the people I love.

It is no secret that I have never thought highly of my father. I could list all his shortcomings as a parent, all the ways he failed me, the instances where the choices he made came at the sacrifice of his children. I have been, to varying degrees, angry at him for most of my life.

It's been 12 days since his stroke, and 10 since he took his last breath. I don't know if I am handling things well, or if I am not. I feel ok about things at the moment, but that may change.

What I have come to accept, though, is that I didn't really know my father, and that I think I probably would have liked him had I had the opportunity and the circumstances of our relationship had been different.

I am not suddenly stricken with a whole new view of my dad now that he is gone. I am not romanticizing him; all I'm saying is that I wish things had been different between us, but it just wasn't possible; it didn't happen, and it it probably couldn't have been any different.

However, I know he wished the same, and right now, that's enough.

I've seen enough of my own imperfections and the havoc my choices have caused people I've loved in my life, to know that it's not always possible to undo the damage we cause, even though we'd love nothing more than to be able to do so. Though it wasn't always evident to me, I think my dad felt much the same, and it is comforting to know that he saw, and he wished.

And everything changes

2008-05-12T17:27:00.000-07:00

My dad just had a stroke. He's not going to make it.

A Goldmine

2008-05-06T19:40:00.000-07:00

Perhaps most of you won't be as amused as I, but I stumbled upon this website and it's had me laughing for hours. Like most sites, there's alot that's mediocre, but I've found quite a bit of stuf to make me laugh outloud. For example, they feature a "Photoshop Phriday" which produced these comic book covers:

If those don't make you laugh, how about these Science Fair projects?

In addition to the pictures, you can browse forums with topics such as

Compare your genitals to Musicians or

MSpaint your illogical childhood notions.

Anyway, that's how I've killed the better part of an evening, when what I really should be doing is reading my American School Law text because I have paper due on Sunday.

Choose your own adventure

2008-05-04T19:16:00.000-07:00

I was poking around the nets when I came across something about choose your own adventure books (CYOA). I loved them as a kid, and I even bought a series of used Endless Quest ones for my classroom a few years ago on Ebay.

So anyway, as I was poking around, I came across this picture:

And I thought, "How cool!"
I remember reading many CYOA style books as a kid, and most weren't of the official line, but were clones, and are lost to me. I even had a few that were romances, fantasy fiction targeting a girl audience by having smarmy smooches mixed in with all the dragons and magic and stuff.
While I wasn't able to find reference to some of the more obscure series (I have fogotten their names!) I did come across some interesting new books, campy CYOA style books that are sort of a tongue-in-cheek combination of B-movie and harlequin romance.
With titles like Tangle in Tijuana, Beauty Queen Blowout, or the best one (shut up Michael!), Escape From Fire Island, how can you go wrong?
I remember writing a comp. program in BASIC in 7th grade where we were basically copying a Zork story, and I think it would be fun to try to perhaps do an audience participation type event where we make a CYOA story, only the choices would send a reader to someone else's blog; it might be a fun thing for those of us who wish we were writers to do this summer...
Anyway, I have to think on it for awhile. If you have any suggestions, let me hear them.

Dames, ya gotta love 'em

2008-05-04T14:40:00.000-07:00

Especially if the Dame in question is Dame Juliana Berners, quite likely the first author on a sport in the history of modern English. I did a report on her as an under-grad for a History of the English Language class, and she is very unsual historically-speaking.

At a time when nearly everyone was illiterate, and little writing was done outside of religious treatise, here was a woman writing about fishing. Pretty cool, if you ask me.

Anyway, I am getting the fishing/camping/mountain bug pretty bad lately, and what with not getting to go on any trips last summer (I mean fishing trips; Switzerland doesn't count!) I'm just itching to get on the water. I get out of school a week earlier than Nick and Erin, so I am trying to plan a trip for a few days between the 30th of May and the 4th of June. Possibilities are:

The Sierra Nevada

Utah

Northern Nevada

Colorado

I love all these places, and each is great in its own way. I just can't decide which will be best for such a short trip.

Erin Nick and I are tentatively planning on going to go to Colorado to visit my sister on the 5th, so one possibility is to take the motorcycle and get there a few days early. As an added bonus, when they arrive I won't have to drag them around while I selfishly fish for 12 to 14 hours straight, and having a cycle in the mountains is just cool. However, the down side is that the weather there has been horrific (for the fishing) this winter and Spring, and I certainly don't want to be there if the run-off makes the waters unfishable, or if the ice won't be off by then. For example, it was an already-too-hot 92 degrees here last Saturday , while in Silverthorne, where Nicole lives, it was only a high of 30 degrees... and it dumped a few inches of snow as well. Nicole assures me that the snow melted the next day, but with weather like that h fishing might not get started until early July.

If the weather doesn't cooperate, we'll go visit her at the end of summer and I'll go to one of the remaining places on my list. Now that I'm thinking of it, I haven't been to Angel Lake in about 4 years, and the last time I went, it was a bust; it was a draught year, and the river was dry.

But the first time I went, it was Memorial weekend, the lake had just iced off, and the trout were stacked up like firewood in little holding areas in the drainage creek. The fishing was great! Plus, there's a little alpine lake about 2 miles up and around the escarpment from Angel lake that is supposedly little visited and filled with arctic grayling:

a rare find in the lower 48 west of the rockies, and especially in Nevada! I couldn't hike in that first year because the trail was still covered in 10 feet of snow, but maybe this time will be different.

So all told, I just can't make up my mind. But I suppose that's half the fun.

In other news, check out this alligator!

And you can click here to see me man-handling him. :)

IRC day!

2008-05-01T17:33:00.000-07:00

According to the internets, May 4th is International Respect for Chickens Day! So everyone get out the party favors, cue up this song, and dance and drink to your feathered compatriot's glory!

For my part, I thought I'd post a few pics of our local fowl celebrity from across the street. When I cam home today I saw him strutting around and snapped a few fine photos. According to Nick, this cock was pimpin' as he literally crossed the street:

leave it to an engineer

2008-04-21T23:13:00.000-07:00

This comes courtesy of Nicky's mom. You cat people will understand.

PBS, Bitches

2008-04-19T20:10:00.000-07:00

So I just went down to the pub to get some pizza and they were playing a bunch of early 90's club music, and a bunch of people were dancing, and I suddenly got very, very nostalgic for that period of my life. Most of you who read this were gone from my life during those years, but I was a dedicated club-rat, athe the time when clubs were all Night at the Roxbury style....

?!!

Sorry to do that to you, guys... here's the right one.

Oops, no, that's not it... Maybe this one:

Yep, that's the one!

Actually, I am really amazed at how many variations of the Roxbury dance appear on youtube; I've been distracted for like an hour looking at all the clips, like this one:

and this one:

Boy, I did love to dance.

It was one of the more pleasurable periods in my life, and I just kind of phased into a heavy-duty euphoric recall while I was there. Then I got my pizza, walked back to my room, ate my pizza, watched a Law and Order, and then flipped to PBS, where a most interesting show was on.
It's called History Detectives. It's really a very well-crafted program. Click here to read a transcript of the show, or better yet, find the show on a bittorent site... or if you're too lazy, click here for a short synopsis.

PBS, bitches.

Perhaps the second most awesome thing ever?

2008-04-19T08:54:00.000-07:00

Once I got over the initial pre-judgement "this is gay" hurdle, I realized that this may just be the second most awesome thing ever (behind this, of course)!

Seriously, I'm going to use this with my class on Monday.
The clip comes courtesy of Teachertube. I can't believe I've never heard of this site before!
In other news, I think I'm changing the focus of my doctoral study from professional development for teacher retention to development of international learning communities, but more on that later. I have lunch, then another session to go to.

Fundamentalism is the bastard child of Imperialism and Nationalism

2008-04-18T18:25:00.000-07:00

Man, I just spent the last hour and a half reading one of the links from my last post, all about Zionism and the 6 day war. All I can say is, Holy Shit! I've learned more about the Middle East in the the last hour than I did in the 37 years before, and I am having a hard time believing how poorly our government interacts with the governments of the region... it makes me say "Aah!"

Perspectives

2008-04-18T16:05:00.000-07:00

Our keynote speaker today was Jeffrey Goldberg, author of Prisoners: a Story of Friendship and Terror. The topic was "Bringing peace to the middle east: an impossible dream?" There are several colleges within Walden University here for their residencies, so I wasn't particularly excited about this plenary presentation. I have to say that I was very pleasantly surprised. This guy was amazing! I'm too tired (or lazy) to go into detail about his whole series of stories, so I'll put this link (be sure to read all 5 pages of corespondence!) and this one (which is probably the best one) for you to check out. Basically, he just recounted some of his amazing story for us, emphasizing the usefulness of tolerance and the ability to live with uncertainty as ways to bridge the gap between Jews and Muslims. What was really interesting though, was that during the Q and A session, nearly every questioner was either from an African country where "rebels" have been labelled as terrorists, or Muslims who were so emotionally attached to the conflict that they couldn't hear his message. There was one pertinent question about terrorism by an irate man, who it seems had a personal vested interest in Lebannon (I think he was from there.) The questioner pointed out that in some cases, organizations like Hezbollah and Hamas were at least somewhat representative and military in nature, and therefore legitimate in a way that Al Quaida, for example, was not, and he wanted to know why Jeffrey referred to them as terrorist organizations, but not the Israeli or US armies. Jeffrey responded by saying he considers Hezbollah and Hamas terrorist organizations because they target children. The questioner then asked about "collateral damage" by the US military, but by this point his emotions had gotten the best of him and he was shouting, quite agitated. Jeffrey actually handled things remarkably well, in that he simply told the man not to judge him or his positions until he'd read his book (which I decided I had to have!), though I'd like to have heard his take on the collateral damage, which he didn't offer.
Now remember that all 900 plus people here are working on either PhD or EdD degrees... so what happened next is all the more surprising...
The final questioner went on a tirade about Zionists (Jeffrey is an admitted Zionist; I had to look it up to understand exactly what it meant; its a long read but an interesting one!) and was shouting "Shame on Walden for it's biased support of Zionism!" He was so outraged by Jeffrey's invitation to be keynote speaker that he renounced his affiliation with Walden, presumably quitting the doctoral program.
I really felt sorry that he didn't hear what I heard, which was a (mostly) humble accounting of one Jew's experience in trying to gain perspective on the war between the cultures of Arab and Jew. The outburst was a perfect demonstration of how difficult it is to look at your "enemy" as human... which was the whole point, I think.

Existentialists rejoice! (or beware?)

2008-04-18T14:05:00.000-07:00

Man, what DOES a doctoral program with a minimum investment of three years and 30 thousand dollars have to offer? Well HERE IT IS!

...and I offer it to you for free.

(You can thank me later!)

... or maybe I'll over-sleep 'til noon

2008-04-17T10:39:00.000-07:00

Well, when I hit "snooze" this morning at 7:20, I "snoozed" until 11:50. I guess sleeping only 2 1/2 hours yesterday afternoon caught up with me.

I'll get my schedule in about an hour, and hopefully I'll have a morning off tomorrow or Saturday, otherwise I may not get down to the national mall after all. I may have to play hookie if I can get away with it, I just don't know yet.

First Impressions of Virginia

2008-04-16T14:59:00.000-07:00

I caught a red-eye out of Vegas last night to come to my first Residency for my doctoral program, and I had hoped to sleep on the plane, but had no luck.

I arrived at 7:30 local time, which was 4:30 my time, and though I originally intended to do the DC tourist thing today, I couldn't find a locker to stash my bags so I decided to go to the NCC (where I'm staying) to catch a few hours sleep.

This place is pretty cool, though it is the most confusing building I've ever been in; it has no windows, 3 buildings connected in the center that fan out radially, and cement hallways remniscent of a soviet gulag you might see in a 60's era James Bond flick.

So after literally 2 hours of walking around trying to get oriented, I finally found the dining hall. All meals are included with room prices, and I wasn't expecting much, but found myself pleasantly surprised.

I had a sweet potato bisque, fish, boston cream pie, and ice cream, which was great, because aside from the kick-ass cookies Erin sent me off with, I hadn't eaten in about 20 hours.

So impressions...

Not many so far. After dinner I walked around a bit, and the cherry trees are blossoming.

Aside from the cool trees, and seeing several diplomats at the airport, I haven't got much to go on. Tomorrow I am going to catch a 7:30 am shuttle to the National Mall, and I plan on seeing a few things. Unfortunately, the Museum of American History is frickin' closed for renovations, which really bums me out, so it looks like the National Air and Space Museum, and beyond that, I'm not sure what.
I'm thinking maybe the White House. Since the Pope happens to be in town, I figure I can give both him and Bush a piece of my mind...
Or maybe I'll go and visit some memorials to presidents who didn't totally suck, like Jefferson, Lincoln and my favorite, FDR.
I'll post more tomorrow.

Chicken Story Redux

2008-04-12T17:42:00.000-07:00

For some reason, one evening Tim brought home several baby chicks, a duckling, and a full-grown rooster. He said we would eventually BBQ and eat them when they were full grown, but I had my doubts.
Well, the chicks died during a thunderstorm, leaving only the duckling and the rooster. The duckling was very cute, as all ducklings are, but it grew into a very large duck very quickly. The rooster was a pain in the ass, making noise and drawing attention from the neighbors. We found this out when the police showed up at our door to inform us that we couldn't keep "livestock" within the city limits. We were about to move anyway, but the cop told us we had to get rid of them that day.

There was a little old lady down the street that Tim somehow knew, and she'd been eyeing the duck hungrily for quite some time. The last we ever saw of the duck was his little black eyes, as he cocked his head, looking backward over the little old lady's shoulder at us as she waddled down the block with him.

The rooster was another matter. I tried to take him to a farm out near where our trailer had burned down, but the process of putting a chicken into a milkcrate, strapped onto the back of a motorcycle, is much more difficult than it sounds. So the chicken stayed. We were afraid of the police coming back, but they never did, and a few days later we were moving out the last of our things. Tim still hadn't found a home for the rooster, so he decided that the humane thing to do was to "euthanize" it.

Our back yard was full of dead branches that had been cut from a tree which had grown into the powerlines overhead, and as such it was very hard to navigate. For a human.

For a chicken, on the other hand, it was quite easy to get around, affording all kinds of nooks and crannies to hide in.

Anyway, the time had come, and Tim had originally intended to just shoot the rooster with Rodney's shotgun, but we convinced him that gunfire in the back yard was likely to draw the attention of the nasty neighbors, and eventually, the cops. So Tim decided he could just kill it by whacking it with a 2x4. The problem was, that rooster was fast. Much faster than Tim, as it turned out.

After several misses, with the rooster running in and out of the debris in the yard, Tim finally connected with it. Only he didn't hit it in the head; he hit it right in the side. The rooster went flying sideways across the yard as the result of the blow, but the blow didn't kill it. Far from it.

It was definitely messed up though, and at this point so was Tim. You could tell right away that the rooster was badly injured, but because of al the debris in the yard, Tim had to chase the thing for several more minutes and hit it 3 more times with misplaced blows before the thing finally died.

All in all, what makes for a funny story in a short retelling was a gruesome episode of good intentions evolving into violence. Not a pretty sight.

If the lady across the street ever decides to do for her chicken, I'm going to be somewhere else, thinking of puppies or some other happier thing.

There's a chicken in the tree across the street, and he's pretty

2008-04-09T18:53:00.000-07:00

Yup. A CHICKEN.

Erin saw it a few day ago, and yesterday I had to go over and check it out.

The lady who lives there doesn't know where it came from, but she's been feeding it and it looks like he's here to stay. He's pretty cool. And very pretty.

Other things are happening around here, but I kind of put the cool story out there first, and the rest would just be even more boring by comparison, so I'll just leave it at that.

COOL
CHICKEN.

Oh, and if any of you read this and you haven't called or sent me an email with your phone numbers, please do; I lost all my numbers when I lost my phone a few weeks ago.

This is why I love the internet

2008-04-05T10:40:00.000-07:00

Seeing's how I've been low on inspiration and stuck in self-pity-land the last several days, it's nice to know that there are strangers out there who can still make me grin. For example, as you all know, I just LOVE Dinosaur Comics. Ryan North, the comic's creator, is a linguist. So naturally, he has other linguist viewers who occasionally get into heated debates (well, as heated as a debate about linguistics can be anyway) over content of one of his comics. Usually I just read the comic, but today I was scrolling down to read the blog part, and I came across this link which is in reference to a days-old debate about the lyrics to the Teenaged Mutant Ninja Turtles theme song. The blog, which offers commentary on Chinese culture as it relates to US culture through the lense of linguistics, is simply awesome. Just read this post, and you'll know what I'm talking about.

Pure Gold.

Ah, the internets... Gateway to different worlds.

The manic, surface part-of-me

2008-03-30T14:34:00.000-07:00

There is some stuff that makes me happy in my daily life, and not just the obvious stuff, like Erin or Nick, or any of our too-numerous pets.

What stuff, you ask? Well, for one, there are a few webcomics that are literal hi-lites during my day. Dinosaur Comics, XKCD, Questionable Content, and A Softer World are a few. Do yourselves a favor and spend a little time going through their archives... I'll be surprised if you don't find them entertaining. These people write with such wit that it makes me envious. If I could hang out for a day or two with anyone, these writers would top my list, along with Trey Parker and Mat Stone. How they can sustain such cleverness is beyond me, but it's uplifting.

Other things lately include this picture

and the story attached to it. I mean, how cool is that?

What else?

Well, aside from Battlestar Galactica, The Office, Reaper, and My Name is Earl all coming back with new seasons here in the next few weeks, there's the fact that after 8 years, I am finally switching campuses and moving to teach 5th grade at our Middle School next year. While it isn't exactly what I wanted, I am ripe for a change, and I'll have opportunities to put some of the leadership practices I am studying in my doctoral program to use.

Another cool thing lately was our climbing trip to Red Rocks last week. Nick, while I love him, has terrible couch-potato tendencies, and a general lack of enthusiasm typical of an 8th grader, so I was delighted with how excited he was to climb, and even more so with his efforts. The climb was a frictiony 5.8 , and he was totally determined to climb well, he took instruction, and he was way more persistent in his efforts than I could have imagined. We'll be going again on Thursday where we will climb something a little more traditional, and I'll post more pics. In the mean time, here are a few of from Red Rocks...

And finally, I got a cowboy hat. Yes, a cowboy hat.... and I LIKE it.

The inner turmoil part-of-me

2008-03-30T13:46:00.000-07:00

My brain has been all over lately, and hence, no posts. I mentioned in my last post that I am suffering from a possible mid-life crisis, and that is still true. But rather than dwell on my own mortality and the what-ifs of squandered youth, I am trying to focus on how to make life more exciting and beautiful and substantive. It isn't easy, but I am hoping that that will change once I can just accept the fact that I am no longer a kid.
Anyway, I've always been the type of person who walks the edge between introvert and extrovert. When B and I were first rooming together 17 years ago, I remember taking a personality test in which I scored as an INTP. About a year later, I took the same test and scored as an ENTP. I seem to go through phases in which I bounce between really liking the world, people, and social interaction and really being disapointed in the world and people, preferring instead to duck my head and pretend they don't exist. I just took the test again, and am currently an INTP. Take the test yourselves and post your results...
Anyway, I think that I have become increasingly isolated these last few years, and though I'd like to blame it on the culture here in Vegas, or on getting older, I am not entirely convinced those two things are solely to blame. Though, to be fair to myself, I am not the only one who feels this way. And being back to Texas for Christmas and seeing old friends reminded me that I am not incapable of feeling comfortable and connected to people other than Erin.
I often get caught up in my head in trying to determine if my lacking connectedness is because of my age, and wondering if I'd be able to be friends with any of you if we didn't have history. I know it's a pointless mental exercise, but sometimes I can't help it. I AM grateful to have you all as friends, it's just that I wonder at my inability to find others like you in the 8 years we've lived here. Is it really THEM (meaning the 2 million or so people in the Las Vegas Valley) or is it me?
It's not like Erin and I don't socialize; we do, albeit infrequently. It's just that it always seems so shallow. Or, we'll meet people we really seem to connect to, only to have the relationships evaporate. It's something that I can't figure out, and is definitely a part of the larger package of mid-life issues I'm dealing with.
Bleh. I feel like I'm getting all whiney now, and that's not what I wanted to do. I'd intended to just briefly mention my whole nut-job obsessive thought-processes and then move on to more interesting things, but since I've used up so much space already, I'll save the various fluffy bits for my next post, which will be immediately after (or above) this one.

Some realizations, in no particular order.

2008-03-14T15:08:00.001-07:00

I feel wiser now, having turned another year on the calendar. Here are some of the things I have come to realize lately, in no particular order:

1. The years of 1992-1996 were THE BEST for independent films, when they truly were independent, and not mainstream-fashionable, as they later became. This group of films includes, but is not limited to, The Last Supper, Welcome to the Dollhouse, and a movie that featured a trio who killed a guy then had to dump the body; they drew straws to see who had to hammer out the corpse's teeth, and the loser eventually moved into the attic where he went kind of nuts, drilling holes in the ceiling to view what was going on in the apartment below. I can't remember the name, but Brannon will help me out by remembering for me: we saw it in Austin and it was awesome!
Anyway, this morning as I was grading a Science Test, I realized that the actor who plays geeky professor-guy on this season of lost is the same guy who played the lead in Spanking the Monkey (which definitely goes on the list). I haven't checked yet to make sure, but I'm 99.9% positive it is him. The movie had an awesome soundtrack, particularly the song that played as the credits rolled, and after more than a decade, I finally found it.

2. No limit Texas Hold 'Em, which holds the top place (in a tie with fly fishing) as chief among my obsessions, might actually not be the greatest poker game ever. That title may ver well belong to the game of Pot Limit Triple Daw Lowball, Deuce to Seven. Don't ask why... there's not enough spaceon my blog if you get me started... just trust me on this!

3. I'm actually filling up (slowly) with relevant reflections and witty comentary about things these days, but I'm not yet up to the task of presenting them to the world; I think I am suffering a bit of a mid-life crisis, and, as usual, I prefer to suffer alone until I get things figured out; that's just the way I am. I AM figuring things out, at least a little, and when I'm ready, I'll actually post something I feel is important or worth-while.

4. You should bug Erin to post more; she's easier to push around.

passing the buck

2008-03-02T16:56:00.000-08:00

I haven't blogged much lately, so for those few of you who check here hoping for something, I'm posting my friend Michael's blog... He's a funny motherf*cker.

http://michaelrossmayer.blogspot.com/

We miss you Popo.

Uuuhhnngghh.

2008-02-15T13:46:00.000-08:00

There's been an epidemic at my school involving a bug that for many has led to pneumonia... I was hoping to dodge it, but it finally caught up with me. The sucky parts are

a. I can't keep any food down so I've been surviving on pedialite and Ensure, which are both gross.

b. We have to drive to Phoenix tonight for Nick's 14th birthday gift of going to the Rennaisance Festival tomorrow (our hotel and stuff is already reserved)

c. My first doctoral course ends on Sunday, and I have to write a paper between n0w and then.

d. Today is my 19th AA birthday, and I can't go to a meeting to celebrate it.

I tell you, I hate hate HATE being sick, especially when it involves throwing up, which this bug does. I went to the doc yesterday and got an antibiotic shot and some amoxicillin, so hopefully it will clear up in a few days.
In other news, our new dog Charlie is cool, and I'd love to post some pics and tell you all about him, but I'm headed back to bed. Get onto Erin for dog updates; she's better about posting lately than I am.

Ugh.

2007-12-04T19:00:00.000-08:00

Sorry I haven't posted much lately. We just had to put Sebastian down, and I'm completely bummed. You just don't realize how much you love a dog, or cat, or whatever, until you're missing them and they are gone. I'm just very sad right now, so I'll write more later.

... and for you harmonica fans

2007-11-20T18:17:00.000-08:00

This just made me giggle. Alot.

Being a guitar aficionado

2007-11-20T08:02:00.000-08:00

I just love kick-ass guitar solos, so I decided to share this Gem with you guys. Woot!
And check out Ozzy's rhythm!
When you're done there, click here for more guitar kick-assery.

Update

2007-11-18T12:40:00.000-08:00

First, let me begin by saying sorry for not posting or inviting you guys until today. I've been busy, and as usual, haven't had much to say. If I've left anyone out that you know of (like Brannon) send me his email or tell whoever it is to send me their email, and I'll invite them.
Anyway, let me fill you in on the story of why I had to go private.

It's Wednesday morning and I get an email from the president of our school. It is vague, and only says "Can you come up today so we can meet about an important sensitive matter." Hmmm. I spend about 15 minutes grading papers and wondering what on earth this could be about when I decide to call him. He just says "we need to meet as soon as possible," which is a giant red light to me, because no one EVER has good news when they tell you, "We need to discuss this in private." I wonder, "What have I done that might warrant such a meeting?"
So I go through the next 45 minutes of teaching Science before I get a break. I go down to ask my boss if I can leave early to go to the other campus to meet the president, and I explain to him about the mystery email. I go back to my room, and get on with the day.
About 15 minutes later my immediate boss comes to my room and tells me that all he could find out was that I have "some sensitive matter on the internet," and that our campus president is not happy because the president of the entire corporation found whatever the sensitive stuff was, and is not happy about it.
Shit.
Immediately the paranoia sets in. I am racking my brain to figure out what it could be, because I can't for the life of me figure out where my name in relation to my current life might possibly come across the computer screen to the eyes of the head honcho.
Now, there are maybe a half dozen skeletons in my closet that I'd sooner no person I work with ever find out, and as unlikely as it was, those few of the worst started to seem likely candidates for what was happening now.
Without getting into the details, suffice it to say that certain parts of my private history would absolutely shock most people, and would certainly be hard to explain. I began to feel literally sick to my stomch with worry.
On the other hand, everyone has skeletons in the closet that they would rather pretend never existed, and I couldn't imagine how any of mine could be so bad as to negate the positive things I accomplish at work every day.
So I wander through the rest of the school day like a zombie, doing my best to teach while the phantoms in my head get larger and larger, until I am seriously wondering if I am about to get fired.
Lunch rolls around, and as I am heading back to my class, my boss catches me again, and asks if I've come up with anything yet, and all I tell him is that there are maybe half a dozen things in my past I'd be worried about, but I can't imagine how any of them pertain to my job.
Then he says, "Do you keep a blog? Because apparently they found it while doing a web search, and they aren't happy about how critical you are."
Sudden relief flows over me. All of this is about the blog post I wrote when I was venting about them cancelling my professional development day. And while I could still be in some trouble, I at least was prepared to explain. In fact, despite what my immediate boss was saying, I would have been very surprised if the president of our school, or the president of the corporation, didn't at least on some level agree with what I was saying in that post.
So I re-read my post before going for my meeting, just to make sure it wasn't too critical (it wasn't) and then I headed up to my meeting with him. The short version of the events afterward were that
1. I should use better judgement in posting a personal blog with critical opinions of my employment situation on it, and
2. I was pretty much right on track as far as my actions were concerned in relation to improving my career.

The prez had printed out the entirety of my blog, "just to make sure there was nothing so bad as to cause us legal problems," and aside from suggesting I make it private, he was very encouraging about expanding my career opportunities. He did say that the two heads of school (we have a campus headmaster, my immediate boss, and a school-wide headmaster, who is in charge of all academics) were probably not going to be too happy about what I had to say, but also that there are many places where my drive and hard work would eventually pay off. He even gave me the emails of 2 other school presidents, one in Phoenix and one in Houston, and suggested I start plying them for job opportunities. The corporation is buying about 15 schools this year, and will continue to buy schools into the near future, and I should start agressively pursuing opportunities all around the corportation now, so that when I finish my doctorate, I will have connections beyond just here where I live.
So. Here I am. I doubt that any real opportunity to move into administration here at my school is going to present itself in the next few years, but I am pleased (and incredibly relieved) that things went so well with my meeting.
I went from worring about being fired to being told that I was an asset who has good things for his future, and I was even provided personal recommendations to two other school presidents. All in all, not bad.